Facing the Giants: Movie Review

A friend recently loaned us the movie Facing the Giants, which we watched last weekend. We both expected a family-friendly Hollywood-made film about football.

What we found was a Christian movie produced by a church. If I had know this at the beginning, I doubt I would have watched it at all. I've seen one too many saccharine-sweet, poorly acted, poorly produced Christian movies and typically choose not to view them.

That being said, this movie was pleasantly surprising. While it was not up to Hollywood production or acting standards, it was much better than I expected. It told the story well, didn't sugar-coat the main characters' lives, and challenged viewers to look up from their life's circumstances to find the bigger picture.

I took issue with two elements of the movie. First, at one point, a friend approaches the main character, who is overwhelmed and deeply discouraged about the sudden flood of insurmountable obstacles in his life. In a conversation about God's promises, the main character explains that he has been bringing his problems to God. The friend tells this story:
"Two farmers facing drought prayed to God for rain. One prayed and then went about his day. The other prayed and then went out and prepared his fields for rain. Which one believed God would answer?"

The obvious answer is the one who prepared his fields for rain.

My problem with this is that the story assumes that God always works by giving us exactly what we ask for. Maybe what those farmers needed was not rain to water their fields but a push out of their comfort zone to a new area desperately in need of godly farmers! Maybe they needed to leave farming altogether and do something else. God is God and He knows what He is doing, whether we understand it or not. And just like a parent whose child asks for a snack when the parent is preparing their favorite meal for dinner, God knows when "no" is the best answer to a given request.

My other issue with the movie was the ending. I knew how it was going to end as soon as the story revealed all the major challenges for its characters. They wrapped it all up in a nice neat package and put a bow on top. That isn't real life for anyone, and it certainly isn't real life for God's people either... not in this life.

The Bible doesn't promise an easy life or a happy ending for us here on earth. It promises that we will suffer in this life. It promises that God will wipe away every tear in the next life if we are faithful to Him and glorify Him despite and through everything He allows us to experience here.

I would have liked to see the movie leave the character continuing to praise God and trust Him even though many of his problems remained unresolved. To me, seeing faithful Christians enduring sorrow, pain, and persecution with unshakable confidence and joy in their God is so much more encouraging and inspiring. It challenges me to rise above my own difficult circumstances, yank my gaze from my life to my God, and continue to praise Him no matter how little sleep I've gotten, how sick the kids are, how drastically my plans are changed by unexpected news, or what just broke.

For some thought-provoking reading on movies, Christians, and Christian movies, consider the ongoing series "Godless Hollywood?" by Tom Neven on Boundless Line. (Part 2 is here, and Part 3 is here.)

A Biblical Model of Parenting

I wrote a little bit about my approach to raising kids yesterday. I was asked a question that I thought I'd respond to today.

When we were expecting our first child, we attended a parenting conference that completely transformed the way we approached raising our kids. Most of what I'm sharing today comes from the speakers of that conference and the book they wrote on biblical childrearing.

They spent quite a bit of time discussing what the Bible says about human nature, children, parenting, etc. I pulled 6 key points out of this:

1. Your children are the product of two things: shaping influence (their physical makeup and their life experience) and Godward orientation (whether they love or reject God determines how they interact with their experiences). Parenting involves (1) providing the best shaping influences you can and (2) the careful shepherding of your children's responses to those influences.


2. The heart determines behavior.

   Mark 7:21 "...from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly."

   Luke 6:45 "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart, his mouth speaks."

   We must learn to see our kids' behavior as more than just undesirable actions or annoyances. We have to work backward from behavior to the heart. Don't focus only on behavior. By talking with our children about what they did, we work to expose their heart struggles - why they did it. Help your children see that they were made for a relationship with God. The thirst of the heart can be satisfied in truly knowing God. (And something else I've learned? When I respond incorrectly to their poor behavior, I have my own heart issues to confront and probably sins to confess to them too!)
   
   
3. You have authority because God has made you His agent. This means you are on His errand, not yours. Your task is to help your children know God and the true nature of reality. Ephesians 6:4 commands you to bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. This is a command to provide the training and instruction of the Lord; to function on God's behalf. You and your child are both under God's authority. You have different roles but the same Master. And your correction should orbit around God as the one offended, not you. This will keep your focus on restoration, moving a child who has disobeyed God back to the path of obedience.
   


4. Since the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, you must set such a worldview before your children. You must help them learn that only in Him will they find themselves.


5. If you have these Biblical goals, you can only accomplish them through biblical methods. You must reject the substitute methods that our culture presents.


6. God has given two methods for childrearing. They are (1) communication and (2) the rod. These methods must be woven together in your practice. Your children need to be known and understood. Thus, rich communication is necessary. They also need authority and firmness. Thus, the rod is necessary. The rod functions to underscore the importance of the things you talk with them about.*

In the stage of development from infancy through about age 5, the primary characteristic is change. They grow more than at any other stage, develop a vast array of new skills, and present us with a steady stream of new challenges. In all of this, it's easy for us parents to lose focus. We need a single over-arching focus, "narrow enough to give firm direction in concrete situations and broad enough to encompass the changing world of the young child."*

The most important lesson for a child to learn in this period is that he is an individual under authority. He has been made by God and has a responsibility to obey God in all things. The key passage of Scripture for this period is

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,' which is the first commandment with a promise: 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'" Ephesians 6:1-3

Obedience is a response to God. Children will not submit to you or any other earthly authority unless they understand that they are made for God. He has the right to rule them. If they don't see this, they won't see living to glorify God. They will be self-absorbed and worship only themselves. Submitting to earthly authorities is part of being under God's authority because He has designated those earthly authorities over us.

Acquaint your children with authority and submission when they are infants. This training starts the day you bring them home from the hospital. These lessons, firmly established in the early years, will yield fruit throughout childhood. Establish these principles and you will eliminate the need to have repeated contests over authority.

We model authority and submission, not by submitting to our children (God made us their authorities, not vice versa), but by submitting to our earthly authorities. Wives, model for your children the type of attitude and behavior you want from them by submitting to and honoring your husbands, supervisors if you work outside the home, and other authorities in your life. Husbands, model this attitude in the way you submit to... and talk about... your boss, the government and its agents (e.g. police, internal revenue service, president), etc.

That's a tremendously high calling, isn't it? I have so far to go. I've been rereading this book lately and been convicted in so many areas. My example to my kids has been lacking, and my goals with them have fallen short. But the good news is that with God and for His own, it is never too late and all things are possible.

*All quotes taken from Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Conference material presented by Paul and Tedd Tripp in 2000. I highly recommend this book. It is one I read every year, not just to remind me of how I should be approaching my children, but also to remind me how I should approach my own sinful heart. It is immensely practical for self-correction as well as for bringing up children.

Living Without Fear

My husband subscribes to the sermon podcast for Capitol Hill Baptist Church (where Pastor Mark Dever, who wrote 9 Marks of a Healthy Church, serves as preaching elder). This fall, they posted the audio recordings from their women’s conference "Titus Two Talks" held at Capitol Hill and hosted by Nöel Piper, wife of author and pastor John Piper. This year's topic was "Living without Fear." I can't think of a better topic for women -- don't all our worries rise out of fear of something?

Here is a link to the audio. You can listen online, download the MP3 files and listen offline, or subscribe to the podcast, using the links on that page. (To subscribe, go into iTunes, select Advanced > Subscribe to Podcast, and paste this link into the blank field: http://www.chbcaudio.org/?feed=rss2. The episodes will then automatically appear in your iTunes podcast library.)

If you don’t have iTunes, it is free and can be downloaded from http://www.apple.com/itunes

Turkey Day

My sister-in-law made these turkey placecards for our big Thanksgiving feast this year. My mother-in-law got the idea from Martha Stewart. They turned out really cute.

Little Girl (no, she didn't get a turkey eye...
but she sure enjoyed her desserts!)

Elli ate more during this holiday week
than she normally eats in 2 weeks at home!

Little Boy loved being at the table with all of us.
He's a very social kid.

Big Boy decided Mamaw's chicken'n'noodles
was the best food of the whole day.

Allison thoroughly enjoyed having her cousins over to play.

We had a great visit with Scott's side of the family this weekend. Scott and I even got out by ourselves for an evening concert. I can't say that I'm more rested because Luke is eating like a horse. But it was great to have more adults than kids for 4 1/2 days! I managed to squeeze in one nap, and part of another (don't ask).

I also worked on some Christmas stockings. I made Elli and Big Boy each a stocking a few years ago, but I'm two behind now. The kids are old enough to notice, plus I only have one backup stocking (a pink "baby's first Christmas" stocking -- Big Boy won't let me get away with using that one for Little Boy!). No, I'm not knitting them. They are sewn stockings that look like jester's slippers. Photos coming when I finish them!

The Halloween Cupcakes

We made the cupcakes today. Our church is having a carry-in dinner tomorrow after the morning service, so I knew I could spread the sugar around. Scott and I are still seeing who can lose 20 pounds first, so I don't need 2 dozen cupcakes sitting around our house! (I've lost 3 1/2 pounds so far. Scott is beating me at the moment - he has lost 7 pounds. Hey honey - want a cupcake?)

As you can see, the kids enjoyed this a lot. Elli especially loved being a part of the mixing and decorating. (She talked about it all day with her Dynavox! It was so cute.) It can be really challenging to include her in kitchen projects, but she really wants to be included and loves to help. In the past, I've tried putting my mixer on a chair to get it low enough for her to see into, but this was very unstable and messy. Today I realized that if I put her in her stander, she'd be able to see and reach things on our counter. This worked very well and helped her feel more a part of things than ever before.

I have to say, though, that cooking with three kids is utterly exhausting. We have carpet on one side of our counter, so I'm always aware of the potential for major messes when the kids are standing on chairs on both sides of the counter. And, to be completely honest, I have a really tough time just letting them be kids and make messes with food. God is definitely growing me in this area. I guess I have to work on enjoying the process of things, not just the product!

Attitude Check

It's been a rough several days. We started with a significant sleep deficit and kept adding to it all week. We've been wrestling with some confusing new physical issues with Elli, so I've been calling and emailing multiple specialists all week. We still don't have any clearcut answers.

Luke started sleeping a little more at night, but he's making up for the missed feeding by nursing more during the day.

And we started this crazy bathroom project. (That was poor timing on our part -- but in our defense, things looked good here when we started. 36 hours later life had made a 180, but there's no way to predict that, I guess.)

By Friday I was a mess. And then this little thing happened. I know it was little, in my head. But somehow, it seems like the little things bother me the most, especially when I'm tired.

My calendar said I had to take Elli down to the main Children's hospital for a 3:45pm appointment with her neurologist. This meant picking her up from school right in the middle of my prime nap time, driving 45 minutes down, and getting stuck in rush hour traffic on the way home. I don't normally see that doctor at the main hospital, but I'd rescheduled when we had a cardiology appointment made for us at the same time as Elli's original appointment. The first one I could get was down at the main hospital on Friday afternoon.

I had found a friend who was willing to come watch the kids for me so that at least they would get their naps. I knew it would be a grueling afternoon and I was dreading every second, but I knew I had to do it.

Then the phone rang. It was the doctor herself, calling to say they'd had a cancellation and would I like to come down earlier? I jumped at the chance. Then she suddenly said, "Don't I normally see you up north? Why are you coming down here, anyway? You don't exactly travel light!"

I was shocked. We've only seen her twice. (We must have made quite an impression.)

She then told me they could work me in Tuesday morning at the north office, just 10 minutes from my house. I hung up the phone and spent the rest of my morning thanking God over and over for the reprieve.

I got all three kids down for a nap at the same time at 2pm. I could tell that all three were going to sleep for awhile... like hours. I turned off the house phone, and made a beeline for my bed. I grabbed my cell phone though. I can't leave myself out of reach completely with a child like Elli in school. The one time I've done that recently, the school had to call Scott at work because they couldn't get ahold of me. He can't do much from his office downtown!

I was in bed and drifting off at 2:10pm.

My cell phone rang at 2:15pm.

It was a teacher from Elli's school and I could hear Elli screaming in the background. They didn't know what to do. They'd never seen her like that before.

I had. It was a bad sign. When she gets like that that, she's either really sick and in pain (she cried like that when she had pneumonia this spring) or she's beyond tired and inconsolable and won't stop crying for a few hours. Literally.

I dragged myself out of bed, called my neighbors (who fortunately could come over and stay with the kids so I didn't have to drag all the kids out of bed), and drove to school to bring Elli home. I was worried about her being sick, so I wasn't upset. Yet.

Once I got her home, I figured out pretty quickly that she was just tired. I layed her down in the living room, and tried to get her to sleep. I tried for about an hour, laying next to her, playing music, putting various children's programming on TV. But all she did was whine and wail, nodding off for the briefest of seconds only.

I finally moved into the living room and laid down on the couch, afraid to go too far away in case she had a real problem. But I was too close to her noise. I got little snippets of sleep, a minute here and a minute there, in between yells. I finally had to get up and start dinner, fighting back tears.

All three younger children slept from 2pm until 4:45pm. That doesn't happen every day. (For example, today Sam slept 3 hours, but Anna was up screaming after just 1 1/2, and Luke never did take an afternoon nap.) Friday I could have had 2 hours of sleep, just getting up in time to get Elli off the bus at 4pm.

Now I know that missing a nap is really a minor thing. But the whole chain of events seemed so cruel. It was like waving a beautiful, fragrant dessert under someone's nose and then throwing it into a compost bin.

So I've been wrestling with my response to this for a few days. I really do think a lot of my recent inability to handle life is a direct result of fatigue. Fortunately, I have a husband who doesn't avoid me when I'm having a bad day. He instead actually tries to help and usually succeeds rather well. (I usually give grumpy people a wide berth instead of sticking close and risking getting my head bitten off!) He did his best to get me some extra sleep, getting up with Luke both Friday and Saturday nights for me. So after an emotionally volatile weekend, today I'm doing a little better.

But I'm still confused. The whole thing seems so out of character to me. So I guess I have to go back to what I know to be true about God, not what seemed to be for a few hours on one day. He isn't whimsical or frivolous or a tease. And I don't have a right to be angry or bitter. As Job said, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Isn't it amazing how we trip up over such little things?