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IMPORTANT NOTE: I redesigned and relaunched Joy In This Journey at www.joyinthisjourney.com after our daughter Elli died. You will find posts from October 2008 to the present there. Please come over and read the new journey there.

Dec 29, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Before I dive into Christmas cheer, I have to acknowledge something from my previous post. I clearly don't even know English very well. Brooke just pointed out to me that I used the word "heal" for the back of the foot, instead of "heel." In my defense... well, there is no defense. But spell-check wouldn't have caught it even if I had run it.

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Merry Christmas! The kids have thoroughly enjoyed this year's festivities. We had a little family Christmas on Friday morning where we presented them with a snow sled. This was a huge hit when we got up to my parents' house and tried it out in the backyard. As soon as Big Boy would stop sliding, he would yell, "Again!!!!" and Big Girl LOVED it. She had a difficult time giving up the sled so the adults could try it out. Scott and I agreed that we got our workouts that day!

We had a great visit with my side of the family. The kids did well on the road both directions, and were so excited to visit "gramma" and "grampa." Their church had a really good service Christmas day, which Big Boy did really well in. I ended up in the hallway with Little Girl and Big Girl, but that was ok. I could still hear a little bit and it beat wrestling with Little Girl the whole time. She played on a blanket with blocks most of the time. (I think Baby-wise's idea of blanket training is a good one and I need to work on that some more!) We decided that opening gifts in shifts would work best since we went to the service - the kids opened theirs before and then after we all had lunch and put the kids down for naps, we adults opened our gifts. Big Girl got a new CD/cassette player for her bedroom, which she is ecstatic about. She gets so excited when we turn on her favorite music in her room. We can program her Dynavox to be a remote, so if we put the Dynavox in her bed, she can control the player some. Big Boy got a huge box of train track for his Thomas trains and a pair of light-up Spiderman snow boots. It's hard to say which gift he loves the most!

Another big hit of the visit was making a gingerbread train. Big Girl didn't really get into it, but Big Boy really enjoyed decorating the "cookies" and putting them together. He put all the candy pieces on after we applied the icing glue, then declared that we needed to make a house. So, since we had leftover icing, we took graham crackers and built a train station. Then a couple days later, we ate it. Big Boy also got into the eating, of course.

My sister and I had been working for over a month on a Christmas tree skirt for mom. She LOVED it. I'm really happy with how it turned out. The pattern is a tough one to visualize. I'll post pictures tomorrow. We barely got it done in time - I worked on it all morning Thursday and then my sister stayed up til 2am Friday finishing her part and wrapping it up. I didn't get Scott's gift finished, but he didn't mind. Actually, it still isn't finished yet - but it's almost there. I am making him a bathrobe and gave him matching house shoes. It was interesting that he got me a thick, fluffy bathrobe too! Big Girl liked her hat and it fits her well. It's even a bit big, so she'll be able to wear it next winter too. The kids all liked the hooded towels I made them; they are really big and fluffy.

So, I have a few things still left on my to-do list! I have a couple things left on Scott's robe, the hat for my niece, and the tree skirt I'm making for myself. I ended up working on lots of other things today, like grocery shopping and trying to fix this computer. It keeps crashing. I thought I had found a big source of the problem, and I have fixed something. So we'll see. It's a little better.

Dec 22, 2005

"Free" Translation? Nonsense!

I have a friend, an older lady in our church, who emigrated here from Cuba when she was about 18. She doesn't read English, though she speaks and understands fairly well. She really wants to learn how to knit, but when she signed up for a class at Michael's, they wouldn't let her skip buying the book even though she couldn't use it. I've taught her a little bit, but you really need some basic stuff written down, at least at first.

She wants to make baby booties for a grandchild, so for Christmas, I got her a set of needles and some yarn. I typed out the directions and then pasted them into this free translation tool. Knowing a teeny bit about translation, I emailed the results to a Spanish-speaking friend for a reality check. She translates English into Spanish for Children's Hospital.

She wrote me back and said the translation I got back was incomprehensible. Just for grins, I pasted the free translation back into the tool and had it translate the Spanish back into English. She was right. Here are the best gems...

Fot "Next row: Purl 9 (11:13) stitches, turn. " I got "Next row: Dagger 9 (11:13) the puntadas, the return."
For "Cast off" I got "Throw far away." (I laughed out loud at that one!)
For this paragraph,
"To Make Up:
Weave in all ends along the work, not up the side as this will cause a lumpy edge. Lay work out and gently steam. Join the heal and the foot with a flat seam. Roll over the top edge and stitch down at the back seam with a single stitch to keep the roll edge in position.
I got:
"To Compose: Weaves in all finishes for the work, not up the side as this will cause a lumpy edge. The work layman was and smoothly vapor. A the priest and the foot with a flat dressmaking. Roll on the edge and the puntada first downward in the dressmaking of back with A single puntada to maintain the edge of the roll in the position."

Isn't that weird that it took "heal" as in body part and turned it into "priest?" And "purl" became "dagger." Languages are very complex and interesting things. I wish I knew more than just English!

Dec 20, 2005

A New Me

Hurray! I have my Christmas cheer back! My thyroid medication was in yesterday and I'm already feeling more normal. I took half a dose last night and a full dose this morning. For the first time in almost 2 weeks, I actually feel alert enough to get something accomplished this afternoon! Now if Big Boy and Little Girl will just take a nice long nap for me, maybe I'll actually get caught up on all my work! It's SO NICE to feel like myself again. I have been a grumpy, tired, grouchy mama for way too long.

Despite the overwhelming exhaustion I've felt the last week, I've managed to get a decent amount done. I finished my Christmas shopping today. Well, there's one more person I really need to find something for, but I think I can get a home-made Christmas ornament made between now and tomorrow afternoon when I'll see her next. I got the gifts I need for Big Girl's bus drivers, therapists at school, school aid, and special instructor (unlike most parents, I have about triple the number of people to get gifts for!). I found a bunch of stuff on clearance at Michael's today, so I was able to get gift bag, votive candles, and a little votive holder for each person for about $3.50 each! I'm really pumped about that. I'm especially excited that I have everything ready a day ahead of the holiday party at school and actually sent in the therapists' gifts today so they get them before break. Some of them have offices in different buildings.

Isn't this the cutest photo? I plunked Big Girl down next to Big Boy Sunday afternoon while I ran to get her hair bows. They were watching "The Toy That Saved Christmas" on TV and Big Boy stuck his arm around her while they watched. He is too sweet.

I got the three kids a big group gift today. I was poking around Target looking for something for Scott when I found the snow sleds. They had some nice big plastic toboggans for $15, which I thought was pretty good, considering I'd seen them for $50 at Meijer! So I got one, even though I had Big Boy with me. I think he knows what it is, but I told him it was for Daddy and Grampa (which it is - they will be the lucky ones pulling the kids around in it!). I'm telling him to keep it a secret cuz it's a gift, because I'm hoping he'll forget all about it until he sees it under the tree Sunday morning. I'm really excited - I think Big Girl and Big Boy will LOVE racing around in the snow. Since this winter looks to be a serious one (we're having January weather a month early!), it will be good to have some outdoor activities for the kids to do.

My home-made projects are coming along. I have one almost done - I hope to finish my part of it today. I finished a scarf for a friend and gave it to her on Sunday, so that's done. The hat for my niece is slow, but I haven't had much time to work on it. I also don't need to have it ready until New Years', so it's a low priority. the big push right now is to complete the project I'm working on for Scott and make a few ornaments to include in those gift bags for the kids' teachers.

I went to the dentist yesterday and told him I feel like my teeth are shifting. I can't get my molars to meet when I close my jaw because my front teeth hit and get in the way. He made me a special bite plate a couple years ago that has really helped my jaw pain, and he said that would continue to help me control the pain. However, he looked at my bite and said that if I want a permanent solution, I need to get braces again. I had them for about 3 years during high school, so I know what I'd be getting into. But my teeth have definitely moved, and he said that in about 6 months he could correct my bite and I might not even need the bite plate any more. I like that idea, but I DON'T like the idea of braces again, even if they are the white/transparent kind. We have to see what the insurance situation looks like and what our out-of-pocket expenses will be. I'm also not sure if I should be having this work done by a dentist instead of an orthodontist. It seems fairly straight-forward, and maybe dentists are qualified to do some basic corrective stuff - I just don't know. But I'm not going to worry about this until the new year.

The possible expense of orthodontics especially stinks because I am really starting to feel cramped and crowded in our little house. We had a long-term goal of being in the financial shape to sell this house and buy a bigger one in 2006. I'm not sure that we'll be able to do that, especially if I end up in braces. I'm really praying hard for wisdom and for God to provide contentment for me while we're here, and for the right house for us whenever it's time to move. It's going to be tough to find a place that will meet Big Girl's needs. We'd love to build, but I am about 99% sure that we can't afford to build in this school district, unless Scott gets a super-mondo promotion and raise really soon. It's possible, but then I might never see him! Yet another reason to put it all in God's hands and not stress about it.

Dec 16, 2005

Stressed and Panicky

I haven't posted in awhile because I suddenly realized how much I have to accomplish in the next 9 days. I have so many balls in the air right now and am starting to get that tight-chested panicky feeling. It hasn't been that great a week.

Part of the problem is that I have been taking a thyroid supplement since Little Girl was born, but I ran out of it last week. I have to drive about 30 minutes to pick up more, and I thought I'd just have my sister get it for me next time she was out that way (which was Monday). Unfortunately, they had to order it. I forgot to ask her to ask for it yesterday when she was there. I was kind of hoping that my thyroid function was back to normal. Apparently it isn't. I'm really hurting for energy right now. It didn't help that I also ran out of my prenatal vitamin (I still take it because it's a good multi-vitamin and I'm still breastfeeding) and kept forgetting to pick it up. Anyway, I'm exhausted. And of course I have more to do than normal. I am going to have to live on coffee and Diet Coke with Lime in order to get through this weekend.

I have three major projects that have to get done by Christmas. I'm making hooded towels for my three kids and for my niece for Christmas. I have them started, but need to finish them. I'm making myself a tree skirt for our Christmas tree. It would be nice to have it done before we take our tree down! I'm making another secret Christmas gift that has to be done by Christmas. I'm also knitting a gift for my other niece, but I have until New Year's to finish that one. Oh yeah, and we have a lot of gift wrapping to do. Oh yeah - one more major project that I really should be doing NOW because it's for Scott and this is the only chance I'll have to get it out without him seeing it.

I had a very scary moment today. I went to lunch with some women from church, which was very nice. I rarely get to eat out, and this time it was with some good friends. Everything was going great until Big Boy decided he was done eating and got down to play under the table with the other little girl sitting with us. He started visiting everyone we were with. The waitress came with my bill and told me I had to pay at the front. The front desk had a line a mile long, so I asked if I could just pay her with my credit card. We were taking care of that when I suddenly realized I had no idea where Big Boy was. I quickly scanned the tables and floor near us.

No Big Boy.

Other moms spread out and checked adjacent rooms. No Big Boy.

I remembered that I heard the door to the outside slam shut when I was dealing with the bill. I raced to the door and looked out.

No Big Boy.

This is a huge restaurant, so we had a lot of space to cover. I gave Little Girl to someone and started looking myself. I checked outside one more time.

No Big Boy.

Up until this point, I had been calm. Big Boy had never disappeared for long and I was sure he would turn up. But it had been 5 minutes and I had no idea where to look next. I felt this clenching in my gut as I pictured someone snatching him and taking him outside and away.

I went to the waitress and asked if there was any way to make an announcement. She was just speaking to the manager when a friend ran up and said she had found Big Boy. He was in the women's bathroom upstairs, sitting on the toilet. I think if he had been missing for much longer, in my current state of exhaustion, I would have sat down and cried. She said she couldn't decide whether to leave him there and tell me so I'd stop worrying or if she should stay with him so he wouldn't be alone. She finally came down to tell me because he was clearly there for the duration!

Perhaps panic would be a good way to describe my day. I had another moment of panic this morning. I suddenly realized, about 10 minutes before I had to be completely ready to go, that today was Career Day at school and Big Girl had to go dressed as what she wanted to be when she grew up. I have no idea what she wants to be, and I didn't have many options. I couldn't just NOT do it - I didn't want her to be left out of the whole thing. But I didn't have time to ask her, and I finally decided that she would just have to be a swimmer. Then I couldn't find her second swim suit (she was going swimming this morning before school, so I needed a dry suit for her to wear). Then I had to program her Dynavox so she could share about being a swimmer in school. I ransacked the house looking for her swim bag, her swim suit, pants, and Little Girl's hat and jacket. At one point I was choking back tears while programming because I was so frustrated and feeling like such a failure and Big Boy came up to me and asked, "Mommy? What's wrong?" I told him I couldn't find something I was looking for. He said, "It's ok, mommy. I love you," and gave me a hug. Then I REALLY had to bite back tears.

Ok, I better drag out my project for Scott. Maybe I should brew some coffee too. I got about a 5-minute nap today because Big Boy kept yelling at Little Girl to be quiet during the 20-minute window of time I had to catch a nap before Big Girl got home from school. He and Little Girl slept in the car, which totally shot the usual 2 1/2 hours I have to sleep and get stuff done. At least we can put them to bed early tonight. Maybe I should go to bed early too!

Dec 9, 2005

Take 3

I have started posts twice already this week and lost them before I could save as a draft or post them. Oh well. It's probably just as well. We haven't had a stellar week this week, so I didn't have much good to say.

I guess I should say I haven't had a stellar week. I haven't slept well, partly because I have been fighting off a mild sinus infection with only decongestants, and partly because my monthly cycle has finally resumed. After a year and a half, I am a little rusty on reading the signs, so I wasn't sure until today. At least I know why I've been feeling half-crazy for a week!

Big Boy hasn't been doing well either. I'm not sure what's going on with him, but he's been complaining a lot about being tired and almost every time I ask or tell him to do something, he whines back, "I can't do it!." I've started flicking him on the mouth when he says that. I'm willing to help someone who genuinely needs help, but if you won't even try, forget it! So he's cried bitter tears all week. Today I took him out by himself because Julie was here to work with Big Girl and was fine with me leaving Little Girl to nap while I ran errands. I think that time with just him really helped. He's been better today. Of course, I've been better too, so maybe he was just feeding off my bad mood! Yet another reason for this mommy to learn to hide her emotions and control herself better...

I finished Big Girl's hat last night! I'm really excited about it. Now that it's off the needles, I think it will fit after all, and I am thrilled to have completed another project! The pattern says to top it off with a pom-pom or a tassle, but since I used this lumpy yarn, I think anything else would be too much.

I cast-on for the hat I'm making for my other niece last night. I'm trying a new method for the furry brim. I'm knitting 2 inches of fur and then working with the wool. When it's all done, I'm going to tack the fur up over the wool, instead of knitting the two yarns together and dropping the fur. I'll let you know how it goes.

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And now for some hilarious candids of the kids.

What's wrong with this picture? I'm not sure if Big Boy was trying to show Little Girl how to get in herself, or if he was craving the attention Little Girl gets and therefore acting like a baby, or if he was just being silly and trying to get a laugh. I suspect it may be a bit of all three. I actually had to help him out, but only after I took a few pictures. I've got quite a collection of blackmail material on him!

The kids got to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog at Big Girl's kindergarten Scholastic book fair. Big Boy was SO excited and really surprised us by going right up and giving Clifford a hug!





Scott can't believe I actually took a photo of this, but it was too hilarious to pass up. Before Julie left today, Big Boy discovered the pile of clean laundry I had partially folded on my bed. He came out with this little Charmin bear wrapped up in this clothing item. We all laughed until we cried, which only encouraged him. Yes, it is my underwear. He wore it like a neck wrap, and then decided it would make a great "Snugli" for his bear. Have I mentioned blackmail material yet? Of course, this could be blackmail for me, I suppose!

Dec 5, 2005

Elli

I found some great pics of Big Girl from the last few months. I think the most exciting thing for us is that she is using her Dynavox to talk, not just as a fun toy. She spends hours every day looking through all the pages we've created, learning where different comments, requests, etc are. She loves to "talk" about her cousin, say what she's been up to recently (which I try to update every day), and especially lately, tell jokes. Her favorite is knock-knock jokes. If anyone knows any good knock-knock jokes for kindergartners, send them my way!


This is actually Big Girl's bath chair, but it doubles as a beach/lounge chair in the summer. We put it in the sprinkler for her to keep cool while Big Boy splashed in the pool and I pulled weeds in the garden. She loved being outside with us and playing with the water. We also put the chair in the deep part of the pool sometimes so she could just soak and splash with Big Boy.


Big Girl is trying to feed herself a little. This was the first time she tried to hold her own cup and I actually had a camera with me to capture the moment. She still has trouble not tipping the cup over and pushing it away. One of these days I'm going to try velcroing the bottom of the cup and the top of her tray to see if that will help.



I made this poncho for her, and she loves it. It's adult-sized, so it covers her legs really well. It is SO much easier than trying to put a coat on her under all the positioning equipment she has on this wheelchair. Instead of unbuckling everything, wrestling the coat on, adjusting all the straps for the bulk of the coat, and then buckling everything back, I just throw the poncho over the top and tuck it in all the way around! Takes about 1/8 of the time!



We took the kids trick-or-treating at a retirement/assisted living home this year. Big Girl enjoyed dressing up like a princess and using her Dynavox, but she preferred to tell people all about herself instead of saying "trick or treat" and "thank you!" I had to keep bringing her back to the trick or treat screen.



If Big Girl gets upset, bringing out her Dynavox almost always brings a smile back to her face. Here she is telling me a joke and laughing to herself about it. One night recently, the battery was dead on the device, so I left it home charging while we went to a dinner. Big Girl fell apart, and without it, we couldn't recover. She was mad because she couldn't use it to tell us what was wrong, and possibly because she wanted to talk to people and had no way to do so. We had to leave early and she still cried the whole way home. That's a mistake I won't make again! I'll bring the power cord if I have to. But she has officially made it her voice and we can't go anywhere without it. Makes sense, really.


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I didn't get anything done on my projects this weekend. Friday night was that dinner I told you about, then Saturday my mom and I drove the girls to visit my sister and her new baby. Her church has an annual Ladies' Christmas Tea that we all attended. Big Girl loved eating the cookies, and Little Girl did pretty well munching on the pumpkin bread. My sister really enjoyed getting out with her baby to a social event. Fortunately, ny niece was doing MUCH better. The doctor thinks she has acid reflux, and it seems that he may be right because she had a great day Saturday on her new medicine.

That reminds me. I need to call and tell her a secret way I learned from pediatric nurses for getting babies to swallow medicine. If you put the medicine in their mouth, squeeze their cheeks together, and then gently blow on their face, they will catch their breath and swallow involuntarily. Works great! Unfortunately, they do eventually grow out of this reflex (it no longer works for Big Girl).

Anyway, Sunday we had a pizza dinner after church, then decorated for Christmas and worked on the set for our Christmas program, and then I went to see "Pride and Prejudice" with a couple girlfriends. It was so nice to go out for a little while and see a good movie. But I was exhausted by the time I got home, and poor Scott didn't know what to do with me. I was an emotional roller coaster and flipped from good mood to bad in a split second. Today has been better, but I slept pretty well last night and caught a cat nap this afternoon. Big Boy actually told me he was tired at lunch time. He ate most of his lunch and then said he wanted to take a nap! He slept from 12:30 until 3. Totally backwards from normal, but when the boy says he needs a nap, I put him to bed.

Time to make dinner. I also need to finalize our Christmas letter and start printing. I want to get my cards out this week.

Dec 1, 2005

Super-Cute-Photos-of-the-Kids Day, Part 2

I did not purposely exclude photos of Elli. Well, yes I did. I wanted to give her a post all to herself because she has been doing so many awesome things! So I'm working on it and will hopefully post it tomorrow.

Here's a little teaser... I got this great video clip today of her telling me a knock-knock joke today and TOTALLY CRACKING UP. She was having so much fun telling the joke over and over. She kept hitting the punchline and was laughing so hard she could barely get a breath. I love it when she does that!

Super-Cute-Photos-of-the-Kids Day

It's like they knew they were especially gross yesterday! My kids were great today, and I happened to still be holding the digital camera hostage from work. So I have some great pictures to share. Oh, and I have to share this. When Big Boy took his Pul-lup off this morning, he put it in the trash and said, "We don't take bi-pers apart. Put in twash."

Parenthood is like having homes on Fiji and the North Pole and Mt. St. Helen's. You go to sleep on a plane and you never know where you're going to be when you wake up (nor do you know when you might wake up!)

Yesterday was Mt. St Helen's. I think it was in the water. Or was it a full moon? Anyway, everyone at church last night had had a day too.

Today we were on Fiji. I actually got a shower and breakfast before the kids woke up this morning!

Big Girl woke up first, so I was able to give her the breathing treatments she's taking before the other kids got up. Big Boy emerged next, very bleary and cuddly. Little Girl slept in til after 8. So we had a nice, slow-paced morning. The kids played online computer games for about an hour (with help, of course) and I actually managed to get Big Girl ready for the bus a minute after she arrived, instead of 5 minutes after!

Next I decided to teach the kids how to clean up their own messes. Yes, they are young, but it's never to early to start. We only had kids to do all the work for us, you know. (Hah! Anyone who thinks that's a good reason to have kids hasn't had them yet! They take a ton of work for many years before they even come close to earning their keep!).

So what really happened? Big Boy actually noticed the mess he made at breakfast! He said, "Oh no mommy! Look! Crumbs! We need to kween it up," he said.

So I decided to let him try his hand at Swiffering. He really liked pushing the Swiffer, but of course he didn't get the whole "push it into one pile" idea. But hey - I'm excited! We're that much closer to getting some help around the house!

Little Girl got in on the action too.













Then she decided to disassemble the Swiffer.

















It wasn't long before Big Boy decided the Swiffer would make a great prop for his "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" gig. I felt something bump my arm, looked over, and saw him wielding the Swiffer like a rifle.

"Look mommy! I a el'phant! This a twunk!"

I was suitably impressed and we played tickle-mommy-with-the-el'phant-twunk for awhile. Then I took a picture, which he demanded to see. He's the next Wayne Brady.



When playing el'phant got old, he went into the family room and got out his trains. A few minutes later he started hollering for me to come and see his tunnel. Tunnels and bridges are the same thing to him. This is more of an elevated train. He put this whole thing together himself. Notice how the track goes over the fence, a jewel case with a little lamb on top, and an elephant. Behind him are one of Big Girl's slippers and the cab of a tractor trailer.

Little Girl wasn't about to be outdone today. She was in a super-happy mood and has been full of smiles and bounces and raspberries (she is into blowing raspberries today). Here she had crawled to the chair, pulled up to her knees, and started to get upset because she couldn't detach herself when Big Boy came over. He is able to cheer her up better than any of us.


This is the perfect representation of Little Girl's brain. It is always asking, "What is up/ over/ around/ behind/ inside there?And how do I get it?"

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