Little Miss One-Tooth

After seeing the photo I posted of Anna yesterday, Mom and Dad sent me this photo of myself. They wondered if I saw any family resemblance.

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Knitting Update

I'm still trying to decide what pattern to use for my Olympic knitting project.

Nor have I selected my yarn. Though I did see an ad for an affordable cashmere/merino blend that sounded really nice for a baby sweater.

Perhaps I don't really take this challenge seriously.

Perhaps I am overconfident.

Perhaps I haven't known how much spending money I have this month and haven't wanted to over-extend just to buy yarn.

Maybe I'll get out tomorrow.

"Why not today?" you ask. My vehicle is at the repair shop today.

Maybe the repair bill won't be so high that I have to abandon all hope of new yarn and just knit from my stash.

Maybe I won't be so sick tomorrow from rubbing noses (literally - she thinks it's funny, and I do too, until she comes down with a cold the next day!) and playing "nibble those fingers" with my sick baby that I have to stay home and rest.

Here are my socks. I'm quite proud of them. But I haven't worked on them since I stayed up so late knitting last week. It took me quite awhile to get over the sleep deprivation.

Plus I went to a woman's conference with my sister and some girls from church Friday night and Saturday. (Excellent conference, by the way. If you ever get a chance to hear Martha Peace, I highly recommend her. And I highly recommend her books.) I decided to enjoy just sitting and listening and NOT bring my socks to work on.


And here is my cat, Jazz, playing with the socks. And a shoe lace that Sam decided to remove from Elli's sneakers last night.

Li'l Miss One-Tooth, Jr.

This is Anna's trademark grin. Just when you think she can't smile any more, she cranks it up a notch and crinkles up her entire face!







Sam loves his animals. He also loves mugging for the camera.











Elli is so happy just hanging out as long as she has her Dynavox within reach.

A Drink of Water

In a devotional I heard recently, the speaker chided those in attendance for failing to share their belief in the Bible as God's Word. In an effort to motivate us to share our beliefs with others, he said, "You wouldn't keep your water to yourself if you saw someone nearby dying of thirst, would you?"

This is an accurate, Biblical analogy. Isaiah 55 records God's invitation to the thirsty:

"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."

The Psalmist also wrote about God's law being water and that he craved God's Word like a deer pants for water. Christ Himself, when speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well, compared what His teachings to water that will prevent its drinkers from ever thirsting again.

My problem with this analogy is that I think it is a little simplistic. It leaves out that the people who we believe are in need of "water" are most often deceived about their condition. It is rare to talk to someone who actually sees what God says as living water that will forever quench his soul's thirst, unless they are already a Christian. Most people, at least here in the States, either don't think they are thirsty at all - "I don't need God" or "God doesn't exist," or attempt to slake their soul-thirst with other things - things we know to be completely useless as a thirst-quencher - "That's fine for you, but I believe Buddha/Allah/Oprah/myself". Either way, they look at the God of the Bible, see salt water, and conclude that we are either crazy, stupid, or mean to offer it.

So how do we respond when we offer Jesus' living water to someone who looks at it and sees salt? Especially when our churches forget to acknowledge this all-too-real, very common response? I Corinthians 1:18 says "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." The next several verses elaborates on this and explains that for those whom God saves, Christ is wisdom, not foolishness, and power, not weakness. (I Corinthians 1:18-25)

Ephesians 2:1-10 teaches that we are spiritually dead and completely unable to do anything to reach God.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

If we could do anything in our unregenerate, sinful state, to understand or to reach God, we could take some credit. But God says that our salvation is the gift of God so that no one can boast.

What does that mean for evangelism? Many people use the above passages as an excuse for not sharing their faith. "God is only one who save them and if He has to open their eyes first, why should I bother to share? I don't want to waste my time talking to people who are spiritually dead."

This excuse completely ignores the command that God gives to us in Matthew 28: "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations..." It doesn't say "only if you think God has opened their spiritual eyes." It simply says GO.

It also assumes that God told us to talk about Him to other so that we will convert great numbers of people. Jesus Himself said that the way to God is through a narrow door and not many will find it. He never promises huge crowds of converts. He does, however, promise that men will hate us for what we believe. We are not to be discouraged when our efforts do not result in countable fruit. God is also interested in the fruit that these experiences brings about in our lives.

So why should we share? Because obeying God brings Him glory. Because obeying God pleases Him. Because obeying God and experiencing the results of that, even when those results are persecution, mocking, and hatred, helps me become more Christ-like.

I think that we are under the false impression that in order to obey God's command to go, that we can bang on a few doors, hand out a few tracts, pray a prayer with someone, and check "outreach" or "evangelism" off our to-do lists for the week/month/year.

Read Matthew 28 again. It says that we are to go into the world, make disciples, and teach them to obey everything Jesus commanded. "Hit and run" evangelism tends to forget those last two commands. Where is the making of disciples? Where is the teaching them to obey? Where is the baptizing (not that baptism saves, but that's a topic for another day)?

You can't force someone to take something they don't want or don't think they need, and even if you did, it would not be real. We do not show our faith by praying a prayer, we show our faith by our changed, changing lives. It takes time to become a disciple and learn to obey. I have three children and I constantly confront their unwillingness and inability to obey. I also confront my own unwillingness and inability to obey, and I've had many years' more practice than they!

So why and how should we share what we believe? In my admittedly short experience, I've learned that my testimony is more than just the words that I use to explain the Gospel to someone. No-one is going to listen to me unless they see, in my life, a reason to listen. This means they need to get to know me. And I need to get to know them. I need to invest time in people's lives, I need to take advantage of opportunities as they occur, and most importantly, I need to pray for the Holy Spirit to change their hearts and open their eyes to their spiritual need.

Yes, everyone is looking for something. Everyone is thirsty for meaning or purpose or answers to the deep questions of life. But the world offers many options, many possible answers. And much of what claims to be "Christian" is so contaminated with selfishness and self-righteousness and pride that even Christians are turned off. So how can I show those around me that what I believe is not only different, but true to the exclusion of everything else?

By the way I live. By submitting my will to Christ, by dying to myself, by confessing my sin and prostrating myself before God in absolute dependence on Him for even the desire to be more Christ-like.

My life is my most powerful, most important evangelism tool. And that is sobering. That is far more difficult than knocking on a stranger's door and handing them a tract. And it is often far more complex than simply offering a drink of water.

Birthday Wish List

Scott asked me last night what I want for my birthday. It's coming up in the next few weeks. All I could come up with at the time was exercise DVDs, including yoga, pilates, and aerobics. I also need a step of my own - I'm borrowing a friend's right now.

So I've been thinking and have come up with a few more things. However, I need some advice, particularly from my knitting friends. I'd like to get some books of patterns, but am not sure the best options for a beginning knitter who still wants to do more than basic stockinette stitch. So if you have seen any of these books, or if you have some favorites that you can recommend to me, please comment! Thanks. :)

Here's a couple books that caught my eye on Amazon.


The Knitter's Handy Book of Patterns: Basic Designs in Multiple Sizes & Gauges (Spiral-bound) by Ann Budd. The description of the book makes it sound like a great basic book to have. "One could knit hundreds of different mittens, gloves, socks, sweaters, vests, hats, and scarves from just the patterns found here. The patterns allow the knitter to create garments in any size from toddler to extra-large adult in any weight of yarn, from fingering to bulky. The knitter has only to knit a generous swatch with yarn and needles of her/his choice and plug the resulting gauge information into the charted instructions and schematics provided."

The Knitter's Handy Book of Sweater Patterns : Basic Designs in Multiple Sizes & Gauges (Spiral-bound) by Ann Budd. This is the sister book to the first one listed. One of the reviewers says, "You can take a raglan, a cardigan, a drop sleeve pullover or many other traditional styles like yoke-sweaters and knit either the basic pattern shown, or embellish it with your own texture, color or lace stitches. Ideas are given how to do the modifications. The book is spiral bound with hard board covers, and an elastic band to mark your place." Sounds like a great resource, and it has lots of full-color photos.

Then 1000 Sweaters: Mix and Match Patterns for the Perfect, Personalized Sweater (Spiral-bound) caught my eye. Especially when one reviewer said this book is "way more hip than Ann Budd's book."

She went on to say, "The 1000 sweaters book is a true find: it reads very easily and the designs are mostly distinctive and modern. I love the idea of choosing a body, a neckline, and sleeves. A mix and match sweater! Brilliant! There are 4 sweaters that I'd like to knit *now*. (There are a few misses though: what's up with the oversized 80s sweaters?!). I understand that Ann Budd's "the knitter's handy book of sweater patterns" has a broader range. Yes, it calculates everything at every gauge. But it has 3 major drawbacks: it reads like an excel spreadsheet, the women's sizes are very large (I'd have to knit one of the children's sizes to fit me and I'm a medium, how would that affect the fit?) and the designs are very plain, conservative and generally... blah. Perhaps a good starting point for a budding designer?" So I wonder if this might be a better sweater book because I don't prefer huge sweaters, especially for myself, and I really like the mix-and-match idea. (Though since the 70s look came back in the last couple of years, perhaps the 80s and HUGE sweaters are on the horizon! Scary.)

Gift cards to local yarn and/or fabric stores (like Hancock or Yarns and Fabrications) would be great so I can afford the supplies needed for all the great projects in the above books, but I think Scott likes to give tangible things. I personally love gift cards. It's like a mini-shopping spree! I love getting to pick out my own stuff. I try not to do that much on a normal basis. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'd rather have a bigger house than _____ (fill in the blank) when I get the urge for instant gratification. Plus, we really need to start an orthodontics savings account to go with multiple college accounts! :) Saving will get much easier once all our college loans are gone - less than a year to go on that! Hurray!

I digress. Just a little pep talk for the days when I am feeling selfish and deprived. :)

Other ideas include gift cards to Burpee and Gear's Nursery or Sharon Nursery so I can buy all the flowers and veggies and seed-starting goodies my little heart desires this year. I'm definitely getting in the gardening spirit since this January has been so warm and I can see some of my bulbs starting to sprout!

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Yesterday I had to wake Anna up from her morning nap early for a doctor's appointment. She did great, and then took a whopping 3 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon! It was great. But today she is fighting her morning nap tooth and nail. She is cutting a second tooth, which may be part of the trouble. But I'm bummed - I thought I had finally figured her out! At this rate, even with an abbreviated morning nap she still won't be ready for her afternoon nap until at least 3.

And that means that I have no chance of a nap myself today. I decided to stay up past midnight last night knitting Elli's sock. Not wise... No, it was foolish. Hmm, yeah, and selfish too. I wanted to stay up and do what I wanted instead of get the sleep I needed to be a good mom and wife today. Therefore I cannot allow myself to be cranky today because it's my own poor choices that resulted in my lack of sleep. Hmmm. So I should NOT complain about being tired and not getting a nap either! If I had gone to bed at a reasonable hour, it wouldn't matter if I got a nap today.

OK, I'm done complaining. And I'm done flagellating myself. On to better things. And a BIG cup of coffee.

(I wonder what my spell-checker will do with the word "flagellate?")

Funnies

Sam

Last night we heard a car door slam. I said I thought that sounded like Heather. Sam jumped up from playing toys and raced to the front door exclaiming, "Heather is here?!?! Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!" He opened the door himself, leaned outside, and yelled, "HI HEATHER!" Then he came in and announced, "HEATHER IS HERE! SHE'S HERE! IT'S COLD OUTSIDE! LOOK! IT'S HEATHER!"

Almost every time we ask him if he needs to go potty, Sam replies, "No. I already just did." This doesn't mean he had an accident (as in, he just went in his pants), it just means he doesn't have to go or doesn't want to take the time to go.

He is still learning prepositions. The only one he really knows is "over." So he says things like, "I put the toy over the couch" and "Put the peanut butter over the bread" and "I put my pullup over the trash."

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Anna

Anna weighed in at 22 pounds today! I couldn't believe it. She was wearing all her clothes, and probably a wet diaper, but sheesh! (It's so amazing to see a child gain weight like they are supposed to. I know Sam did, but I'm still not over it. Elli didn't reach 20 pounds until she was 3 years old!)

Last night, Anna sat next to K.C., one of our new friends from church. They became buddies immediately, and at one point, Anna decided that she wasn't getting enough attention from K.C. She turned to her and tugged on her sleeve. As soon as K.C. turned to see what she wanted, Anna gave her this face-splitting grin. Do ya think this 3rd-born wants attention?!

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Elli

I put a greeting to Elli's new aide at school into her Dynavox this morning. As soon as she heard it, Elli started smiling and giggling. I think she really liked the chance to say "Hi" to someone.

Elli was introduced to Sponge Bob Saturday night. He's quite a smart-alek so I don't want her to watch much of him, but she didn't really hear much of what he said because of all the commotion going on in the room. She thought his facial expressions (which are extremely exaggerated) and tones of voice were hilarious and she belly-laughed through the whole show. We really got a kick out of that. She told Julie about Sponge Bob today with her Dynavox - she said she thought he was funny. Julie wasn't impressed. I heard her say, "I think he's dumb and obnoxious." I had to laugh to myself - sometimes it is SO odd to have someone else in your home so much - especially if they are opinionated!

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Tiny Sweater

A friend emailed this photo of what I think very well may be the world's tiniest real sweater. I can't imagine making something quite that small! It's amazing. I'm wondering how this compares in size with the fairy clothes Brenda has made? Here's what she wrote:
We went to a flea market yesterday and bought this sweater for $1. It's a little big, but too cute to pass up.... (This is an 'only hearts club' doll, she is a little smaller than a Barbie for reference)

Rambling On and On

We had a great weekend. We kicked it off with a visit from Brooke, who was suitably impressed with my sock. She brought super-scrumptious homemade candy and cookies from our dearest Brenda (they were magnanimous - thank you VERY much!), tins with mittens on them for me (which the kids have absconded with, but which I love - very knitting-appropriate), and a yoga DVD which I'm told is very silly but might bring some welcome variety to my workout regimen.

Speaking of working out, I did none last week. In my defense, we took the kids snow-sledding on Tuesday, which was quite a workout indeed. We pulled and pushed and ran up and down... I am definitely counting that as a workout! Then I painted and cleaned and ... well, I didn't do anything else. So I didn't meet my goal for exercise last week. But I was up late working on our room and trying to hold the rest of the house together and keep the kids (especially Anna) out of the mess while Scott worked. I'm going to try to fit it in this afternoon, though my stomach isn't sure it's happy right at this very moment.

Saturday we continued to work on our room. Scott was very bummed that Home Depot was out of quarter-round and everything else he went looking for! So while we have moved back in, we are not completely done yet. We'll get more quarter-round and finish off the floor this coming weekend. Plus we still have to finish painting the one corner that rain leaked into. But I like how the room turned out and am once again resolved to keep it neat and tidy. Our room tends to be a drop-off location for things that need a home but don't have an obvious place yet.

Saturday evening we had dinner with some dear friends from our former church. They have known Scott since he roomed with their son in college, and when he married me, I got welcomed into the circle too. We had a great time catching up and enjoying the kids' antics with the toys. I enjoyed having a night off from cooking and cleaning, plus I had put Sunday's dinner in the crockpot on Saturday, so I didn't have to cook much on Sunday either!

Sunday I played piano for the church service. That went really well - I've gotten much more comfortable with this over the past year and a half. I don't get all shaky and nervous anymore, which really helps me play more right notes! Our usual pianist took the opportunity to sit in the back and listen to the mix of music and voices so we can help the sound guys get it to the best it can be. Scott enjoyed having a Sunday to listen in Sunday School instead of teach. He'll get to do that for a few more weeks at least, which will be a nice break. He has taught an adult Sunday School class for a year and welcomes a little break.

Sam has fallen in love the with game "Candy Land." It's the Dora the Explorer version, so I think he's most enamored with the characters which comprise the game pieces. I keep finding him pulled it all out of the box to play with like a toy, and I keep telling him that it's a game not a toy and we have to be careful not to lose the pieces or we won't be able to play it. We've played it a few times, but I don't think he really understands it yet. We played with Brooke on Friday and he named all the characters on the game board. When I pointed to the Grumpy Old Troll, he said, "That's the Bumpy Ol Troll."

This morning Sam took one of those mitten tins Brooke gave me, put a little green bear inside with his head resting on the edge, and put the lid on like a hat. He kept saying "Get lost!" while he was playing with it. This really bothered me, so I asked him where he heard that. He couldn't tell me, so I told him that wasn't a nice thing to say. Later, he pointed to the bear and said, "Look, just like Oscar! He says, 'Get lost!'" It really did look like Oscar, and I was very relieved to know where he heard the phrase. Not that it makes it any better...

Elli gets a new aide in school today. The woman who worked with her for the first half of the year is having some pretty serious back problems, so her doctor told her she needed to go part-time and quit lifting. So she can't work with Elli anymore. I'll go meet her later in the week or next week sometime. The teacher recommended waiting a few days since she's goign to be a bit overwhelmed by all the new stuff of a new job today. Elli does well with new people, so I'm not really worried about it. I'll feel better once I meet her, though!

I have a lot to get done this afternoon. I need to mop the floors, finish the laundry, vacuumed another bedroom, and clean the bathrooms. We're having guests over tonight, plus it really needed to be done after we had our room all torn apart! Here's hoping that Anna goes down for another nap fairly easy around 3. Sam is sleeping in my room today, so Anna's crying won't bother him. Right now she's coveting my optical mouse, digital camera, and ethernet cables!

My Neck Hurts

For some reason, every year on the 3-day weekend we get for Martin Luther King Day, we get the urge to do something to the house. Maybe it's cabin fever. Maybe it's the desire for something stimulating after the holidays are over. Maybe it's insanity from lack of sunlight. Whatever the case may be, we always do something.

So this year, Scott took two extra days off this week and decided to put Pergo down in our bedroom. But he didn't start until Tuesday. We also decided that as long as the room was empty, we should paint it, seeing as it's the only room in the house we haven't painted yet. So I went to Home Depot and checked out their "mistake paint." They always have a cart somewhere in the store with all the cans of paint and stain that got mixed wrong. You can get quarts and gallons for $5 each! We've painted most of our house with mistake paint. I found a nice green that went with our comforter, and on Tuesday night I stayed up until almost midnight working.

That meant that Tuesday and Wednesday nights we slept on the sofa bed in our family room. You'd think that we'd be fine sleeping in our own house. We've both slept out there with sick or newborn children before. But we haven't slept on the sofa bed - we always just slept on the sofa part. Now I know why most of our guests choose to have us blow up the air mattress to put on top of the sofa bed mattress. It slopes slightly downhill at the head, and then dips down again at your hips. So it puts your spine in all sorts of awful positions. Neither of us slept well either night, and I gave up yesterday. Even though the painting isn't done in our room and we have a leak from outside in one corner that we have to deal with before paint will dry over there, I reassembled our bed. It's the only thing in there, but at least last night we slept on our own bed.

I'm still groggy and tired from the whole thing. So I'm going to try to take a nap before Elli gets home. I need the energy for tonight - my dear friend Brooke is coming over tonight! I can show her my socks and check out the progress she's made on Anthony's sweater (wink, wink, nudge, nudge - keep working on it!).

Speaking of Brooke and knitting, I have joined the Knitting Olympics. I'm going to attempt something new - a sweater. You have to cast on during the open ceremony (or as early as 2pm since they start at 2pm local time) and cast off by the end of the closing ceremony. You're supposed to pick something that will be a challenge for you. I haven't done a sweater before, so I'm going to make a child-size one (actually, a baby-sized one) and see if I can get it done during that time. I'm excited!

Drat. Anna is awake. There goes my hope of a nap. Maybe she will go back to sleep. Probably not - when I put Sam to bed I detected the odor of stinky diaper in there. If she's dirty, she won't go back to sleep. Drat drat drat drat drat. Maybe I should try to get a power nap before she gets really ticked off...

Kids These Days

I got this in an email, and I actually liked it. Shocking, I know. But it's got some interesting observations about the way kids grew up 30+ years ago compared to now. I'm not sure the conclusions are sound logic (no proof given that A + B = C), but if you ignore those, it's an interesting read. And a challenge to me as a mother to give my kids fuel for their imaginations and real-life experience in problem-solving. I think we need to also expose them to the way real life is now, which is loaded with technology, but you need both kinds of skills. I don't want the kids to miss out on good low-tech fun.

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To All the Kids Born in the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's:

Our lives began when we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick-up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

All By Myself!

Oh yah! Oh yah! Oh yah yah yah! I turned the heel on my VERY FIRST SOCK without any help at all! Isn't it beautiful? I am sooooo excited - this actually looks like a sock!

Now, I am not sure this sock is going to actually fit Elli. It seems a little wide, but that's better than being too small. I still need to measure her foot to figure out where to start the toe on this thing. And I have to knit the second sock to match this one.

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Saturday morning I walked into the kitchen with Anna. Sam was eating breakfast at the table. Anna had done something goofy, so I told him that Anna was a silly as.... and I stopped, trying to think of a good comparison.

"YOU!" he enthusiastically completed my sentence.

"ME? I'm silly?" I asked, incredulous.

"YES!" Even more enthusiastically.

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Sunday morning I asked Sam what he learned about in Sunday School.

"The ark and the aminals."

"Who was on the ark with the animals?" I asked.

"Jesus and Mary," he replied.

My Goals for This Year

I don't believe in making New Years resolutions. However, I do think it's wise to periodically assess my life and make some goals for improving the areas where I see weakness. Since January is typically a rather dull month, especially as contrasted with the frantic pace of December, it works out well to do it now. I'm not sure where my goals from last year are, or what they were. But if I post them, I'll be able to look back next year and see how I did.

So, after some prayer and discussion with Scott, here are my goals for this year.

• Exercise 4-5 times per week. The best time for this is during the kids' naps, before Elli gets home from school. I have a DVD and a couple VHS tapes to use right now, and will request some more for my birthday next month. This week I've exercised 3 times, so I'm doing well so far.


• Read my Bible 5-6 times a week and read the entire New Testament this year. This has been extremely difficult to work into my day with children. Each time a new baby enters the house, I struggle to keep my eyes open long enough to read a paragraph because I'm so tired. I'm finally in a good routine now and think I've found a time that will work -- I get up between 6 and 6:30, get a cup of coffee, and read before the kids wake up. Three years ago I started a "Read Through the Bible in a Year" schedule. I'm almost done with the Old Testament now, which is why reading the NT is my goal for this year. I know that's pretty pitiful, but at least I didn't quit.


• Go to bed by 10:30 every night. I have to do this if I'm going to get up at 6!


• Practice the piano 3 times a week. I'm not sure when to do this yet. But since I'm playing more and more at church, this is a must.


• Spend quality one-on-one time with each child every day, even if it's just a few minutes. The more kids you have, the tougher this is to do. I'm beginning to wonder if three kids is the max I can really mother well, because of this very thing. It's just so difficult to get all the work of a household of five done AND spend good quality time with each of the kids.


• Establish a system that works to keep the paper in this house organized and under control. Still looking for this one! Paperwork and filing is the bane of my existence, but I'm determined not to let it defeat me this year.


• Develop better friendship-building skills. Call, send notes, and get together with people. This is difficult for me because of Elli's schedule. She's in half-day school, so I don't have much time to go anywhere in the morning, and afternoon is naptime. I got out of the habit after she was born because I was running her to so many doctor and therapy appointments and was so dog-tired that I couldn't possibly fit in social things. I have realized lately that I've been waiting for other people to reach out to me instead of being proactive and involved in developing friendships.

So, there it is. Out there in public for the world to know. Feel free to ask me how I'm doing on these things! I could use the accountability. My family will thank you for it!

The Best Laid Plans...

I have decided that the best kept secret of motherhood is strategy -- always be prepared for anything. It really is a mentally-challenging job because you have to anticipate all the things that are likely to go wrong and prepare for them. And get where you're going on time. I am sure this comes naturally to some people, but since it's impossible to anticipate everything, you learn most of this by experience and failure.

For example -- today I had to take Elli to an appointment with an occupational therapist. She is going to work with her to practice feeding herself, and I'm going to learn the best way to help her. I anticipated that I would not have a chance to talk, listen, and observe if I brought all three children along. So, I asked a friend to come over and watch the youngest two for me. She came half an hour early so I would have time to give her instructions and get ourselves loaded up and to the appointment on time.

I had no way to know about the nose bleed Elli would have at 5am. I had to clean her up and give her a bath and get her bedding in the washing machine before the blood permanently stained her brand new pajamas. I managed to recover by skipping my morning routine (I did get a shower before I discovered the nosebleed, but I had to squeeze bites of breakfast into my mouth in between feeding the girls). Then I didn't allow enough time to deal with the van - our van has a coolant leak and I had to refill both the radiator and the overflow tank before we left. I almost drove away without my phone, but I went back for it so I could call and inform the therapist that we would be late. We arrived 5 minutes late - not too bad considering. Elli met the therapist and got started right away, while I waited to register her. And waited. Then it took awhile because I also needed to get lab work done because of her nose bleed.

So despite my great planning, I only got to observe about 20 minutes of her 50 minute appointment. I suppose that's better than nothing, but it's probably about the same as having all of the kids with me. (I'm really not sure how I'm going to do this in the future. I think they have an observation room with video cameras, but I'm not sure they are aimed in the room Elli will be working in. This will be another mental and preparedness challenge for me to confront in two weeks.)

Now, some things DID go well. The car didn't need expensive repairs - refilling the coolant was the miracle cure. The lab techs got Elli's blood the first time they stuck her. I still had time to pick up Scott's clothes from the cleaners on the way home. The kids did well with my friend this morning. Sam and her little girl get along really well and don't get all hyper together.

So...

A good day as a mom is a day when you have a backup plan -- you're prepared.

A bad day is one when you don't have a backup plan or when you have the wrong backup plan - you'll regret it all day (Murphy's Law, Mom Version).

A VERY bad day is one when even your backup plan fails miserably and you need a backup plan for your backup plan. The domino effect is impossible to overcome, so your only hope to get home as fast as possible, get the kids in bed, and start over tomorrow.

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Elli got to try this really great spoon today at that appointment. It's hard to describe and the website I was given for it doesn't exist. So I can't show you a picture. But it always stays level, no matter which way her hand moves as she tries to get food into her mouth. Unfortunately, it's rather expensive. One spoon costs sixty dollars! Can you believe that? A SPOON. I have no idea why, but if you slap the label "special needs" on anything, you can automatically mark the price up about 4 times.

We're going to practice with it for a couple weeks and see how she does. At that point we'll decide if this is a good option for her and if we really want to spend $60 on it. I'd like to find it online and see if I can get it any cheaper. Sixty dollars. That's highway robbery.

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I decided to watch half an hour of the Today Show this morning, because PBS changed its morning program schedule. Mr. Rogers is still on at 7, but at 7:30 I don't like any of the choices. We have to wait until 8am to see Clifford: the Big Red Dog. So I flipped to the news for half an hour.

Elli was MAD. She was yelling at me and complaining as loud as possible so I couldn't hear anything. Until a story came on about dogs detecting cancer by smelling people's breath. (It's true! 90% of the time, they could identify the 1 sample out of 5 that had cancer.) I told her there were dogs on the TV and she stopped complaining. She watched very interestedly and by the time the story was done, she had forgotten that she mad at me!

I think that pretty much clinches it. Elli would like a dog.

We can get a dog that's specially trained to help her, but it takes a lot of work to raise the funds. We'll need somewhere between $8,000 and $12,000. An agency nearby called Paws 4 Ability trains the dogs and helps you with fundraising, but I am guessing it will take at least a year. Which isn't all bad - I'd rather not get a dog until we're in a bigger house, and odds are good that we won't be moving until next summer anyway.

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I've gotten a lot of questions about how I can possibly get so much done. I'll let you in on my dirty little secret (literally). I am not a good house-cleaner or house-neatener. I like to cook, so I make home-made dinners every night. I wash dishes and do laundry because I have to. If the clothes get put back into dressers, great. If they stay folded up in laundry baskets until worn, no big deal. I sweep under the kitchen table every day or so because I have to. I clean bathrooms when they look dirty - at that point, I have to. And I disinfect the counters and table and high chair because germs freak me out.

Everything else gets done when it screams loud enough that it needs to get done. I have never cleaned my baseboards, I don't believe in dusting, and I'm horrible at filing papers. As I sit here typing, I have a pile of papers and folders about 12 inches tall that needs to be put away. It's even on my to-do list for today. Am I doing it? No. I need to start my exercise video really soon or I won't be done by the time Elli gets home. I am really good at the "stash and dash" method of cleaning: when we're having company over, I go through the house and hide all my piles of stuff, sweep the floors, and make sure the bathrooms are clean.

So there you have it. I'm not WonderMom. I have dust bunny skeletons in my closet.

Elli Hates Tantrums

Elli is very sensitive to emotions, especially intense ones. I think this is why she cries when dogs bark - they typically bark a warning or alert, and that intensity is too much for her. The same thing occurs when someone cries or screams or throws a tantrum. I've been fortunate that Sam doesn't throw many fits at all, and they are over fast. Elli does cry when he gets hurt and gets upset, and she also gets upset sometimes when he gets in trouble and sometimes when Anna cries, though she's doing better.

I have a niece who is just 3 months older than Sam. She and Sam love to play together and get along about as well as 3-year-olds can be expected to. They play and they fight, they play, and they fight. We dive in, settle things, calm everyone down, lather, rinse, repeat.

Elli has been around one too many times when her cousin had a meltdown, however. For almost a year now, whenever she sees her cousin, she gets really upset, almost scared. It's like she knows that at some point she is guaranteed to witness a tantrum. It will be loud, it will be long, and it will be scary. So we've had to basically schedule visits with that side of the family around my cousins visits to her other side of the family.

We've had a couple encounters that were mostly OK. Elli was really tense at first, but her cousin really tried hard to be quiet and not upset her. This seems like an awful lot to put on a 3-year-old though. I guess she does need to learn not to throw tantrums, but I hate that she might feel she is the sole cause of Elli's meltdowns (Elli is responsible for her responses - she is not a victim here).

I'm really hoping that as Elli gets exposed to Sam and Anna's emotions, she'll get more comfortable with the process of emotion. When they get disciplined, it's a process of getting spanked, crying, understanding why, getting hugged and forgiven, and moving on). Tears of pain or anger also pass. If she can just hold it together, the storm will blow over and everyone will be fine soon.

The whole thing has been really difficult for us adults. I hate that I don't get to spend time with my niece because I'm always calming Elli down. I hate that my in-laws have to do such gymnastics with their schedules to accommodate Elli. And I don't know how to help Elli learn that she can't control everyone and everything around her. She has to learn to go with the flow better and not let things get her so upset. I don't want her to grow up thinking that everyone is going to cater to her every whim. So far, we haven't picked up on any resentment over the whole thing, but I also don't have a very close relationship with my sister-in-law, so it's hard to tell what she's thinking about the whole thing.

We are considering going to visit my in-laws this weekend. My niece will be there. I asked Elli today if she'd rather stay home if this cousin will be around, or if she doesn't care as long as she can visit her mamaw and papaw. Even with a photo on her device, she still said she wanted to visit. We are going to see what my sister-in-law's work schedule is first and see just how much time she'll be around to help referee things. If she'll be off some this weekend, we might try it.

Meanwhile I have a ton of things on my to-do list for today, like birthday shopping for Scott, taking the dry-cleaning, laundry, sorting toys, and calling about vacation spots this summer.

Where Christmas Trees Go

We took our Christmas tree down on Saturday. (I say "we" but it was really all Scott. I was busy making a dessert to take to a friend's house that night.) We almost got it done before Sam woke up, but not quite. He was very distressed, but we told him it was time. Scott carried the tree outside, and Sam asked, "Are you taking it back to Home Depot?"

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I have one more set of pictures. I'm once again on Scott's laptop because mine is currently frozen. I attempted to copy photos from it to a flash drive so I could transfer them to this one. One of these days I'll have time to completely reformat my hard drive. Until then, this will be the story of my life.

Here is the completed hat for Allison, as modeled by Sam. It's definitely a girl's hat.



I had to rip it... er, I mean frog it all when I finished it (see? I'm learning the knitting lingo!). It was WAY too big for her, plus I had run out of purple yarn and the stuff I finished it with looked, as Scott likes to say, "jakey." So I re-knit it at 15 inches in circumference, instead of 18. I hope that isn't too much smaller. It just barely fit Sam, but I'm hoping that's because he has a big head.

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Speaking of frogging, I had to frog my sock too. I finished the ribbing section, only to discover that on half the sock, I had gotten the pattern completely messed up. One side was ribbed, one side was a jumbled mess. So I ripped all the way back to my first loop. I cast on again a couple nights ago, and I think I've knit one or two rounds, so there's nothing to show right now. This time I'm being extra careful, which means extra slow. I'll get the hang of it eventually and speed up I hope.

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Today I'm headed into my second day of exercise in a week! Yay me! I have had ankle trouble and then could NOT figure out how to work in 45 minutes between naps and nursing and everything else. So finally I tried doing it last week when both kids were down for naps and Elli was still at school, and it worked out well. I finished up right before the bus pulled up. So I'm going to try to do it 4-5 times a week. I currently have only one step video with a stability ball workout for abs, but I'm going to pick up some more hopefully for my birthday. I have some prenatal ones, but I don't need that anymore! If anyone has any recommendations for aerobic, step, pilates, or yoga DVDs, I'd appreciate it!

Pictures!

I gave up on my computer. Scott's laptop is here today, so I am finally able to bring you the first installment of Joy's Homemade Christmas gifts, plus a bonus pic just for fun.

First up is the Christmas tree skirt that Heather and I made for mom. (Mine still isn't done, and now that Christmas is past, I'm not as motivated to work on it. Could also be that I'm just now feeling recovered from the hustle and bustle. I finally feel like working on more projects, and of course have started new ones. But that's quite a rabbit trail. We had a GREAT time making this for Mom and I learned a lot that I will apply to mine. I love how it turned out and Mom just couldn't believe that we had found time to make her something.


This is Elli sporting her hat. It's a little big on her and I haven't yet found a solution to the problem of headrests on wheelchairs. The headrest tends to push the hat down over her eyes. I suppose a safety pin attaching it to the neck of her clothing would work, but it isn't very speedy for getting hats on and off. Anyway, it's cute and keeps her head warm, which is the point, after all!

Anna was suitably impressed by her new hooded towel. I found these incredibly soft and super-huge towels at Meijer - perfect for bundling up soaking-wet kids fresh out of the tub. I made one for each of the kids and for both my nieces. Sam's is brown with leopard trim and little ears, Elli's is a dusty purple with Beauty and the Beast trim, Millie's is a brighter pink than Anna's with green trim with pink rosebuds, and Allison's is light blue with Cinderella trim. A fun and fast project!



I love this picture. Poor Anna has a cold so she wasn't impressed by the snow or the sled. But Elli and Sam had a BLAST. The sled is a plastic tobaggan style and allows for multiple people to sit and for Elli to lay down. I actually want a snowy winter this year!

Dirty Jersey Strikes Again

Scott and I have lived in Ohio for almost 7 1/2 years now. He worked in New York City for 2 1/2 years before that, living in New Jersey and commuting into the city. Almost from Day One, he realized that NJ is a nightmare. (Our sympathies to any readers who are still unfortunate enough to reside in NJ - cough Annie cough. ;-) )

We thought that the hassles of living in the lovely garden state (can you believe that is actually the motto on their license plates?) had long since disappeared from the rearview mirror of our lives. After all, it HAS been 7 1/2 years since Scott moved away!

Until yesterday.

Scott's driver's license is up for renewal this month. Being a responsible citizen and attempting to turn over a new leaf by not waiting til the last day, he decided to go a couple weeks early to take care of it. The clerk at the BMV typed in his stuff and proceeded to inform him that another state had suspended his license and registration! She couldn't tell him anything else - just gave him a phone number to call.

He called me when he got back to the office. We knew it had to be Dirty Jersey's doing - he hasn't lived in any other states. He knew he didn't have any outstanding tickets or violations.

Suddenly I remembered.

When Scott transfered his vehicle registration to Ohio, he got a letter from New Jersey stating that he was required to "surrender" his license plates. Scott blew them off. No other state he knew of required you to send the plates back and he wasn't about to! A month later we got another letter. This one was worded more strongly. Again he said no way. Finally, they sent a third letter saying that if he didn't send them in, they would fine him a couple hundred dollars. I can't remember the exact details, but I remember that they mentioned $200 and we decided that since we didn't live there any more, whatever the consequence was didn't matter. He finally mailed the plates back. We washed our hands of the whole matter.

Guess what. They suspended his license and registration either because they didn't get the plates back by their deadline, or because we didn't pay that fee!

Soooo.... Scott has been driving illegally for 7 years! But yet he was able to get his Ohio license and then renew it once, and register multiple vehicles. Apparently, sometime in the last few months, Ohio joined a nationwide database in which states can post these types of things, so that's why we've just now learned about it.

In a phone conversation with someone in New Jersey (someone who was actually very helpful and nice - she must not be originally from there) today, he mentioned that we were able to rent a car in his name in Newark just a couple months ago. She was floored. That should not have been possible. I'm really glad we didn't find out then - that would have put a real damper on our trip.

So today we paid the state of New Jersey $200 in fines to restore Scott's driving and vehicle registration privileges. So much for redecorating our bedroom this month!

Unbelievable.

A Word of Clarification

It occurred to me that yesterday's post may have given you the wrong impression about our day. We had a very very long follow-up appointment at the opthamologist. Elli's vision is actually pretty good for someone with CP, according to the Dr. She's 20/50 on the right and 20/70 on the left, with more astigmatism on the left (which may explain the dif in numbers). She can also use the same frames we bought for her last year again, which saves us $100. Hurray!

We did not go to the ER. I included the ER version of Murphy's Law because my experience in the Opth. waiting room reminded me of many visits to the ER in the past. I won't say how long it's been since we went to the ER because whenever you do that, you end up back there (Murphy's Law - Bragging Version). But it's been awhile, and we're sooooo thankful. I can't think of a much worse place to be with a sick child.

Except maybe in a vehicle several hundred miles from home. Some friends of ours had two kids with the stomach flu on their drive home from Oklahoma this Christmas. Now THAT sounds like the worst possible place to be with a sick child!

I tried more photo editing and my software just freezes and I have to force quit. My computer appears to be as cranky as I am! Well, I'm not exactly cranky - just tired. I stayed up til 11pm knitting last night. I worked for an hour on Allison's hat and made good progress. Then I gave in and started a sock. It actually went really well, though slowly. I'm not used to working with such small needles and yarn. But I've got more than half of the ribbing at the top of the sock done and it looks good! I'm really pumped and can't wait to get it out again. I can tell I'm going to have a big dilemma this afternoon during the kids' naps - exercise or knit? Too bad I can't get the doggone photos up for you!

I have solved my afternoon activity dilemma - I'm going to nap first, then exercise. I have a mild headache that is also making me a bit nauseous. I'll knit tonight after the kids go to bed, I guess!

Stream-of-Consciousness

1. I am having a raspberry-blowing contest with my 9-month-old. She is winning. Apparently she is much more in touch with her slobbery side than I.

2. Murphy's Law, Waiting Room Version: If you forget something really important to keeping your kid/s happy for long periods of time, you WILL have to wait an excessively long time so that you will remember the misery that forgetfulness brings.

3. Murphy's Law, Emergency Room Version: If you go prepared to be admitted or at least to spend the night, you won't have to. Go in thinking you'll be in and out and you'll guarantee a hospital admission.

4. Every time I resolve to get through a day without drinking coffee, something always ensues requiring coffee for survival (like a three-hour eye appointment with all three kids in tow).

5. When you have three kids ages 5 and under, it doesn't matter how early you get up to get everyone out the door for an appointment. You will ALWAYS be running around at the last second, changing poopy diapers and grabbing what you forgot to throw in the van the first three trips out (and you will still forget something important - see #2).

6. I finally completed Scott's robe! It was only a week late - that isn't SO bad, right?

7. I had to rip out a gift for my niece Allison and start over. I ran out of yarn plus it was way too big. I'm re-knitting it about 3 inches smaller in diameter.

8. I got myself a new knitting project this weekend! I am attempting my first pair of socks. I found this perfect blend of colors in Lorna's Laces sock yarn for Elli at the local yarn store and a really easy sock pattern. I have resisted the urge to cast on so far... I am trying to make myself finish Allison's hat first. Then I can mail only one package to Scott's parents' - we got the wrong size shirt for his dad. Plus I have plenty of time - I think. Her birthday is Feb 26, so that gives me almost 2 months.

9. I have no idea what to make for dinner. It just may be a Hamburger Helper night.

10. Is it the rain, the exhausting morning at the doctor's office, the first day back to school/work/normality, or all of the above? I just feel like snuggling up on the couch with a blanket and my kids and vegging in front of the tv all afternoon instead of tackling the mountain of dishes in the sink, on the counters, and on the table, the laundry waiting in the hallway, and the wreckage of Christmas Past all over the living room.

11. On a positive note, we upgraded DVD players with some Christmas money yesterday! The one we had before had just decided to turn all video into pixels. We found one at Costco for only $45! Scott is pumped because it takes full advantage of the surround sound system he has, unlike the older one. And I'm happy because now I can play whatever movie the kids choose instead of the select few that still worked reasonably well.

12. All the great ideas I had for this post have abandoned me.

13. Photos will have to wait too. I have them, but they took too long to upload and almost froze up my computer. I'll try again tomorrow.