Potty Training Day

6:44am
Big Boy and Little Girl climb into our bed, and after being quiet for about 2 minutes, start clamoring for breakfast. I groggily get them something to eat and make sure Little Girl has a full glass of milk to start off her day with lots of fluids.

7:30am
I sit down to breakfast and review the procedure for the day.
1. Show Little Girl with a doll how to check for dry underwear, hurry to the bathroom, put the step-stool and child-size insert on the toilet, pull underwear down, sit on the toilet, urinate, wipe, pull underwear up, and flush.
2. Have Little Girl walk the doll through every step of the process, "teaching" the doll how to potty.
3. Demonstrate wet underwear by having the doll have an "accident" and practice hurrying to the potty a few times to reinforce the right procedure for keeping pants dry.
4. Have Little Girl practice each step of the process herself, giving salty treats and as much fluids as she'll drink at every step along the way.
5. Do "dry pants" inspections every 5 minutes, rewarding her for having dry pants.
6. Practice the potty procedure every 15 minutes, trying to sit on the potty quietly for as long as possible so as to catch her on the potty when she does need to go. Reward for success independently performing each step of the process.
7. When she has an accident, have her practice the right way to keep pants dry 10 times, clean up her mess, and change herself into clean underwear.

8am
I prepare snacks, drinks, checklist for dry pants inspections and potty successes, doll, and plenty of clean underwear. Everything is in the bathroom or the girls' room so we can limit our range at least for the beginning of training.

8:15am
I begin training. First, I sent Big Boy with his toys to the other end of the house with strict instructions not to interfere with us all day. We worked with the doll for the first 45 minutes or so. Little Girl really liked this part.

9:30am
Our first success! She was very distressed at the idea of peeing -- I could tell by her facial expression. But we cheered and high-fived and sang a celebration song and gave treats and really tried to reinforce that this was GOOD.

10am
First accident. But we got onto the potty fast and stayed long enough to finish peeing and actually have a bowel movement too. So I didn't make her practice 10 times, just 3. She HATES that part, but that's really the point -- I want to motivate her to keep her underwear dry. When it's wet, it should be a big pain to go through the whole rigamarole of practicing the right way 10 times!

10:30am
Another accident, but just a little. We did the practice a bunch of times and she got really upset. Then we put on dry underwear. She peed a little more very quickly. This time I had her sit on the potty for awhile, and she peed a large amount after waiting a few minutes. Again, I skipped the multiple practices because I wanted to reinforce the positive part. She still isn't telling me she needs to go, though. I have to make her get on the potty and watch for signs.

1pm
Little Girl still isn't initiating, and her automatic reply to my questions about whether she needs to go is still "no." But she's kept herself dry for awhile and we've had 2 more successful trips to the potty. I'm trying to decide what to do for naptime. Should I go ahead and leave her in underwear, knowing that I will most likely be changing her sheets? Or should I figure on pullups for sleeping and underwear for waking hours? I don't mind pullups at night, but I'd like to be in underwear all day asap.

3:45pm
I put her to bed in underwear, and she did wet the bed. She wakes up really groggy, so she had a tough time sitting on the potty right away. She did it, but she didn't pee. She did drink a large amount though, and then we took off for the swimming pool. Since she had a bowel movement today, I knew it would be ok not to put a swimming diaper on her, which was nice (though she was a bit upset by that at first!).

6:15pm
We got back from the pool, and she very willingly went straight to the potty when we got home. And she peed really fast this time! She also drank a good amount at the pool, so I'm hopeful that we can get one or two more successes in before bed tonight.

8:30pm
No more successes. We had an accident at dinner, but who knows? Maybe the repeated practice, especially from outside on our deck where we were eating, was better in the long run than a success would have been. All in all, I feel encouraged by the progress we made today. Tomorrow should be interesting -- going to church with underwear instead of pullups could be quite an adventure. But there's no going back now!

Cramming

Certain milestones in a child's life stand out as particularly challenging for a parent. The delivery, breastfeeding (should you choose this), sleeping through the night, learning to walk, learning to obey, and potty training all come to mind.

Somehow I seem to be cramming nearly all of these into a few short months.

I'm facing the delivery of baby #4 in less than 2 months. I've had one baby with and two without an epidural (and no, I didn't get the epidural for the first one!), and definitely prefer the calm that an epidural brings to the situation. I've considered trying to do it without again, but only because it might get me discharged faster if I don't have to wait for the epidural to wear off. Since we believe the baby will get transfered to Children's within a few hours to examine his heart and stay on top of his condition, I want to do whatever I can to get discharged quickly myself. (Before anyone freaks out, I'm not going to put my own health or safety at risk. And I know how unpredictable deliveries are. Each of my three was totally different, and my recovery time for each was differnt. Calm down!)

I forgot to ask at my last OB appointment, but I'm guessing, all else being equal, that an epidural would only add an hour or two to my stay. If that is the case, I believe it to be well worth it and I'm totally going for it. I could use one now, actually. I never dreamed that a woman's pelvis could ache and burn so badly. Seven weeks to go...

Of my three other children, two still have trouble sleeping at night. The oldest has been waking up at the ungodly hour of 5am lately. We can't figure out why. She's gotten much better at laying quietly in bed until we get her up, but then she naps during school, which isn't good either. I hope it's just a short-lived phase in her recovery.

The youngest has nightmares and loses all of her highly-advanced-for-a-two-year-old communication skills when upset. So trying to calm her down and get her back to sleep can be difficult. Scott has taken this job over as we think some of it is a ploy to get mom's attention in the middle of the night. And we both agree that she needs to get used to seeing him at night instead of me.

Because I do plan to try breastfeeding the baby. And even if I don't, I will probably do a significant number of the night-time feedings since Scott does have to go sit at a computer all day. I've decided that the 6 months of pumping I did for our oldest would be suicide for a mother of four to attempt. If this baby is unable to breastfeed within a week or two of his birth, I'll just pump for comfort til my milk is gone and switch to formula. Even if I do breastfeed, I'm not sure how long I'll last with three other kids who will very quickly learn that breastfeeding means mommy can't intervene as easily.

Which leads me to another disturbing trend. Lately I've been wondering if I'm speaking English in our house. The younger two, in particular, have developed the despicable habit of completely ignoring me. I'm not sure if this developed during Elli's recent hospitalization when they had multiple caregivers, if I've gotten lax in my enforcement of the "obey the first time or you suffer consequences" policy because of all the care Elli has required and because of my utter exhaustion of late, or if this is a phase they just so happen to both be going through simultaneously. Regardless of the origin, it has made life very difficult at our house lately. The remedy is grueling work to really only say something once and then follow through with action.

Adding to the complexity of all of the above, I've taken on toilet training Little Girl. The clock is ticking and I really really don't want to have three in diapers and one with dubious bowel control at one time.

(Before training a boy, I never would have understood why someone would invent disposable hand covers...)

Even though I know that the less-than-eight-weeks I have before the baby arrives is very short and she'll probably relapse when the baby finally arrives home, I want to get some good hard work in now so we can settle back into it when the dust settles.

So, for those of you who actually see me in person over the next several months, if I seem extraordinarily cranky, please don't take it personally. I've probably just cleaned up the 18th accident of the day and run out of both underwear for the kids and carpet cleaner for my new partner-in-crime, the Bissell Little Green Machine.