A mother of three is always thinking about at least 5 things at once. What's going on at the present moment with each of the kids, what she has to do next, and what she is doing currently. It's exhausting to keep that much straight, and we drop a ball a lot, especially if those three kids are young and disrupt her sleep on a regular basis.
I didn't realize just how much I do in any given day until I went away for a weekend. About half-way through the weekend I suddenly realized why I was so relaxed. I only had to think about 1 or 2 things at a time! We had only two appointments the whole weekend -- the start of the wedding on Saturday and the start of church on Sunday. We had minimal luggage and our own rental car. So we could move fast and with little advance planning.
Turns out, taking knitting on board a commercial aircraft is a piece of cake. Security screening was a lot slower than I expected - the lines were way longer than I thought for an early early Saturday morning! When we finally got to the screeners, I had no trouble getting my knitting needles through security. However, they did inspect my scissors to make sure they had round tips, not pointed ones.
Scott had our suitcase, and he got stopped. After going through all the pockets and the clothes (I was SO glad I packed all my loose items, underwear, etc in ziplock bags so my stuff didn't get totally messed up), they finally fished around my makeup bag and dug up an old pair of haircutting scissors I had forgotten about. Those were a no-go. I had three options: go back out to the entrance of the airport and mail the scissors to myself, check the suitcase with the scissors inside, or leave them with security to be destroyed. We didn't have time to mail them. We didn't want to check the bag. The scissors were old and cheap. So we left them behind and hurried to our gate where the plate had just opened up boarding to all rows.
We had a smooth flight, but I didn't pull out my knitting because this super-skinny girl sat by the window, pulled the shades down, buried herself in her parka, and slept the whole way. She pulled her hood down over her eyes so you couldn't tell if there was a person inside! I didn't think it was THAT cold. But I really didn't want to wake her up by accidentally jabbing her with the end of a knitting needle. So I read.
We decided to go into the city once we got our rental car. We walked around and were pleasantly surprised to find the area a very quiet, peaceful, freak-free area place. They have been very strict about enforcing a no-panhandling rule. It was really nice to just walk with no schedule.
We arrived at the wedding location exactly when the invitation said music was to start. It was clear immediately that they were still setting up. So we wandered around the hotel for half an hour, then checked back. Still not ready. 15 minutes later, we finally were able to sit down. We waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, the groom's aunt came out and told this woman in front of us that some bridesmaids still weren't there.
What???? It was 45 minutes after the wedding was supposed to start! She went on to say that some bridesmaids never did show up to a wedding shower they had!
Eventually everyone showed up and the wedding started an hour after it was supposed to. Turns out the missing members of the wedding party were an entire family -- the best man, the matron of the honor, a junior bridesmaid, and a junior groomsman (or whatever you call them!). Guess they couldn't have gone on without them....
The rest of the weekend was awesome. I did some knitting in free moments here and there, gave the Yankees booties to my friends (the husband LOVED them -- he's a huge Yankees fan), and caught up with a bunch of people we hadn't seen in years. It was so amazing to meet people who had been praying for Big Girl for 5 years and didn't even know us. It was just so great to spend some time just the two of us. And then it was great to come home and get a huge bear hug from Big Boy, a grin from Big Girl, and head butts from Little Girl (who wanted to nurse). :)
I didn't get the Yankees hat done in time. It's done now though, and I'm hoping to take a photo before I mail it to them. The logo turned out ok. I wasn't quite sure how to make it work with the decreases in the hat, so it's a little narrow and it's a little low on the hat -- I would make the rolled part wider and move the logo up if I did it again.
I went shopping at my friend's yarn store (hee hee - I guess the real owners might not like it that I refer to it that way!) and bought my first pair of circular needles! I also found some really cute yarn for a hat and mittens for Big Girl for Christmas. I'm really excited to start that project. I also got fabric to finish up a Christmas gift I'm working on. Then I heard on the radio that Christmas is something like 43 days away! Yipes! I better get busy!
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Nov 9, 2005
Oct 28, 2005
The problem with Fairy Tales
I'm trying to decide what I think about letting our girls watch fairy tales. We rented "Cinderella" last weekend for girls' night in. (Big Boy and Scott were at a men/boys campout.) Big Girl seemed to enjoy staying up late and watching it with her mommy and aunt. But watching it for the first time since I was little, I was rather disappointed. Maybe it's just that I'm used to the stories written for adults who can analyze and keep up with more complex characters and story lines. I certainly don't want to become one of those isolationist parents who has a long list of seemingly arbitrary don'ts for my kids.
So what could be wrong with Disney's "Cinderella?" It's just a story, a fun little movie with cute songs, cute mice, and a girl who suffers through a rough life and finally escapes in a beautiful happy ending. Where's the harm in that? Three things bothered me about the movie.
1. The main characters are portrayed in very black and white, either/or terms. I guess this could be good and bad. Cinderella is perfectly good. She is beautiful, has no flaws (either physical or in her character), and responds perfectly to all the abuse she gets. In this way, she sets a good example for how to respond to mean people and difficult and undeserved circumstances. But she is so good that she isn't real. Her stepmother and step-sisters are the opposite. They are ugly and totally bad. They are only looking out for themselves and have absolutely no redeeming qualities. Most people aren't wholly bad or wholly good -- they are a confusing and complicated mixture of both. And their physical features have little to do with the kind of people they are. This over-simplification of people's characters, if unaddressed, could lead children to believe that you can just look at person and know if they are good or bad. They could very easily be led astray by someone who "looks" nice and miss some amazing people who don't look nice. I want my children to look past the outside and choose their friends and future spouses by their character, not their appearance or their clothes or their money or whatever fleeting external measure is the fad at the time.
2. The men are laughable. This lack of respect for men is a very strong and consistent trend in entertainment today. Men are buffoons, stupid, self-centered, the butt of all the jokes. Think about every sit-com and most comedic movies made in the last 40 years. Women characters (with the possible exception of blonds) are smart, get to say all the brilliant comebacks, are always right, and if they are made the butt of a joke, always get the last laugh. If women were ever cast in the buffoon role, we'd have a feminist revolt on our hands!
"Cinderella" follows the trend (or leads, since it's an old movie). The king is impetuous, unrealistic, self-centered, impatient, violent-tempered, and abusive. His sidekick, the duke or whatever his title is, has no respect for the king, other than that invoked by fear for his life. He thinks the guy is an idiot and makes fun of him. The prince -- well, we don't know much about him. He has only a couple lines in the movie, so all we can learn is that he seems to be as impetuous as his dad, falling in love and marrying Cinderella after dancing with her for 3 hours.
3. The relationship between Cinderella and Prince Charming is shallow, unrealistic, and moves from initial attraction to marriage in the space of two days (in the real fairy tale, Cinderella goes to three different balls... but that isn't the story Disney chose to tell). "Love at first sight" is the model here. They do not take time to find out what each expects of the other in a husband/wife role, to see if they look at the world from the same point of view, to share dreams of the future to see if those dreams are compatible, to actually disagree and work out that disagreement (if you can't do that, your marriage is doomed!), or to find out what the family dynamics will be. Prince Charming was probably less than thrilled to learn that she had some step-family baggage to deal with when they got back from their fairytale honeymoon!
I digress. I don't want my daughters to think that true love works like this. If they do, they will never have a successful relationship, which means they will experience wrenching pain after wrenching pain. No parent wants this for their child!
So I suppose this could all be remedied by having some good conversations with the kids. They'll need instruction in how to choose friends, keep friends, resolve conflict, respond to ill treatment, and choose a spouse. And maybe a movie with such blatant errors would be a good springboard into some of that conversation. But the ability to engage in that kind of thinking and dialog comes at a later age than my kids are now.
So my dilemma is: Do I let them watch it now because it's fun and they are enjoying the music and silliness, and take the viewing to a deeper level when their maturity level is right? Or do I carefully screen media until they are old enough to think critically about it and talk about it with us? Would doing the latter result in a ridiculous and ultimately un-enforceable policy of "no you can't spend the night at that friend's house because you might end up watching 'Cinderella' without me?"
Ultimately, my responsibility as a parent is to teach my children to think independently and ask these same questions themselves. I cannot be there every moment of every day to point out dangers and prevent them from making mistakes. Part of maturing and becoming an adult is learning to recognize fallacies, fairy tales, and fraud, and learning to respond to this appropriately. How we actually DO this is the difficult part! I have a sneaking suspicion that the method will depend on the individual and their strengths and weaknesses, making it impossible to find one universal answer and apply it to all.
So what could be wrong with Disney's "Cinderella?" It's just a story, a fun little movie with cute songs, cute mice, and a girl who suffers through a rough life and finally escapes in a beautiful happy ending. Where's the harm in that? Three things bothered me about the movie.
1. The main characters are portrayed in very black and white, either/or terms. I guess this could be good and bad. Cinderella is perfectly good. She is beautiful, has no flaws (either physical or in her character), and responds perfectly to all the abuse she gets. In this way, she sets a good example for how to respond to mean people and difficult and undeserved circumstances. But she is so good that she isn't real. Her stepmother and step-sisters are the opposite. They are ugly and totally bad. They are only looking out for themselves and have absolutely no redeeming qualities. Most people aren't wholly bad or wholly good -- they are a confusing and complicated mixture of both. And their physical features have little to do with the kind of people they are. This over-simplification of people's characters, if unaddressed, could lead children to believe that you can just look at person and know if they are good or bad. They could very easily be led astray by someone who "looks" nice and miss some amazing people who don't look nice. I want my children to look past the outside and choose their friends and future spouses by their character, not their appearance or their clothes or their money or whatever fleeting external measure is the fad at the time.
2. The men are laughable. This lack of respect for men is a very strong and consistent trend in entertainment today. Men are buffoons, stupid, self-centered, the butt of all the jokes. Think about every sit-com and most comedic movies made in the last 40 years. Women characters (with the possible exception of blonds) are smart, get to say all the brilliant comebacks, are always right, and if they are made the butt of a joke, always get the last laugh. If women were ever cast in the buffoon role, we'd have a feminist revolt on our hands!
"Cinderella" follows the trend (or leads, since it's an old movie). The king is impetuous, unrealistic, self-centered, impatient, violent-tempered, and abusive. His sidekick, the duke or whatever his title is, has no respect for the king, other than that invoked by fear for his life. He thinks the guy is an idiot and makes fun of him. The prince -- well, we don't know much about him. He has only a couple lines in the movie, so all we can learn is that he seems to be as impetuous as his dad, falling in love and marrying Cinderella after dancing with her for 3 hours.
3. The relationship between Cinderella and Prince Charming is shallow, unrealistic, and moves from initial attraction to marriage in the space of two days (in the real fairy tale, Cinderella goes to three different balls... but that isn't the story Disney chose to tell). "Love at first sight" is the model here. They do not take time to find out what each expects of the other in a husband/wife role, to see if they look at the world from the same point of view, to share dreams of the future to see if those dreams are compatible, to actually disagree and work out that disagreement (if you can't do that, your marriage is doomed!), or to find out what the family dynamics will be. Prince Charming was probably less than thrilled to learn that she had some step-family baggage to deal with when they got back from their fairytale honeymoon!
I digress. I don't want my daughters to think that true love works like this. If they do, they will never have a successful relationship, which means they will experience wrenching pain after wrenching pain. No parent wants this for their child!
So I suppose this could all be remedied by having some good conversations with the kids. They'll need instruction in how to choose friends, keep friends, resolve conflict, respond to ill treatment, and choose a spouse. And maybe a movie with such blatant errors would be a good springboard into some of that conversation. But the ability to engage in that kind of thinking and dialog comes at a later age than my kids are now.
So my dilemma is: Do I let them watch it now because it's fun and they are enjoying the music and silliness, and take the viewing to a deeper level when their maturity level is right? Or do I carefully screen media until they are old enough to think critically about it and talk about it with us? Would doing the latter result in a ridiculous and ultimately un-enforceable policy of "no you can't spend the night at that friend's house because you might end up watching 'Cinderella' without me?"
Ultimately, my responsibility as a parent is to teach my children to think independently and ask these same questions themselves. I cannot be there every moment of every day to point out dangers and prevent them from making mistakes. Part of maturing and becoming an adult is learning to recognize fallacies, fairy tales, and fraud, and learning to respond to this appropriately. How we actually DO this is the difficult part! I have a sneaking suspicion that the method will depend on the individual and their strengths and weaknesses, making it impossible to find one universal answer and apply it to all.
Oct 26, 2005
Germs!
Big Girl has a cold.
I always feel like a negligent parent when she gets sick. I am so dense when it comes to reading her cues sometimes. She was really cranky yesterday, didn't eat much dinner -- which is totally out of character because spaghetti is her favorite, sneezed huge snot-balls through her bath, and her teachers said she slept a lot in school.
Hello, mom. Wake up and smell the saliva-soaked bib. Something's going on with Big Girl!
But did I catch on?
No.
Instead, I put her to bed and she coughed for an hour. Then I got her back up, tried to feed her some more, watched her fall asleep in my arms, get up to put her to bed, watch her wake up whining, and put her to bed anyway. Then listened to her cough in her sleep for another hour. THEN and only then did I realize that she wasn't just in a bad mood. She was coughing her "my sinuses are draining like mad and it tickles my throat and I can't blow my nose or do anything about it so I have to just cough it up" cough. A dose of Children's Vicks and half an hour got her to sleep. I'm sure she was thinking, "FI-nally! She figured it out!"
What's weird is that she was messing around with her Dynavox most of the evening and got on many different pages. But she never went to "What's wrong with me" and said, "I don't feel good." I guess we still have a ways to go with that. She's been getting much better and much more accurate lately (even without the keyguard) at using it for communication, not just to play with. But she hasn't been sick much, so maybe she just didn't remember that she could tell me felt sick, or didn't know that how she felt was "sick."
So now I'm dodging germs. Which is difficult when your child prefers to projectile-cough. I don't know why she does this, but when she's sick, she coughs with her mouth in an "oo" shapes, which serves as a great cannon to shoot all the mucus in her nose, throat, and mouth in a concentrated stream across the room.
She also likes to cough directly in your face. I think she does it because she's looking at me and appealing for some sort of relief. I give her what medicine I can and try to make her comfortable. But no amount of hand-washing and vitamin C and Zinc will protect against that direct contact with her virus.
Why am I so concerned about germs? You'd think that as a veteran mother of 3, I'd be LESS worried. Kind of a "aah, it's no big deal" mentality. Au contraire. I have been infected about 20 times too many by the delightful children featured in my profile photo. Frankly, I would rather only tend one sick child, not three sick kids and myself! I'm a much nicer, more creative, fun-to-be-around person when I'm healthy! And with three kids to keep up with, I simply don't have time to be run down and on slow from a cold.
I also really want to stay healthy because my sister had her first baby yesterday! She lives about 2 hours away from me, so I can't go visit until Saturday. With Big Girl in kindergarten, I can't get there and back and still get her on and off the bus. And I can't go if I'm sick. If a newborn gets a cold, they end up in the hospital. I have been there, done that, and don't want to be responsible for sending a little one there! So I may not go, even if I'm still feeling ok, if more kids are sick by Saturday. I would hate to go and then feel sick the next day -- I would clearly have taken the germs with me the day before. So I'm praying, scrubbing my hands, taking vitamins, and doing my level-headed-best to stay out of the splatter zone. And not touch my face.
In other news, have I mentioned that Little Girl still isn't sleeping through the night? Big Boy was definitely doing it by this age. I guess I am reluctant to let her cry it out because she can wake up Big Girl and disrupt Big Boy's sleep. I would rather get up for 20 minutes to nurse her than deal with 2 cranky kids the next day. But it's getting old. She's like an alarm clock -- she gets me up at 4am like clockwork. Then it is so hard for me to get up when I need to in the morning. I don't have time for this -- I need to bounce out of bed, grab a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast before any of the kids get up! If I don't get something done before the kids wake up, I don't get it done that entire day.
Yes, that means I don't eat breakfast some days. Other days I don't shower. Other days I don't get dressed until midday. Such is the life of a sleepy mother of three. I swear I need a catapult to launch me out of bed!
I always feel like a negligent parent when she gets sick. I am so dense when it comes to reading her cues sometimes. She was really cranky yesterday, didn't eat much dinner -- which is totally out of character because spaghetti is her favorite, sneezed huge snot-balls through her bath, and her teachers said she slept a lot in school.
Hello, mom. Wake up and smell the saliva-soaked bib. Something's going on with Big Girl!
But did I catch on?
No.
Instead, I put her to bed and she coughed for an hour. Then I got her back up, tried to feed her some more, watched her fall asleep in my arms, get up to put her to bed, watch her wake up whining, and put her to bed anyway. Then listened to her cough in her sleep for another hour. THEN and only then did I realize that she wasn't just in a bad mood. She was coughing her "my sinuses are draining like mad and it tickles my throat and I can't blow my nose or do anything about it so I have to just cough it up" cough. A dose of Children's Vicks and half an hour got her to sleep. I'm sure she was thinking, "FI-nally! She figured it out!"
What's weird is that she was messing around with her Dynavox most of the evening and got on many different pages. But she never went to "What's wrong with me" and said, "I don't feel good." I guess we still have a ways to go with that. She's been getting much better and much more accurate lately (even without the keyguard) at using it for communication, not just to play with. But she hasn't been sick much, so maybe she just didn't remember that she could tell me felt sick, or didn't know that how she felt was "sick."
So now I'm dodging germs. Which is difficult when your child prefers to projectile-cough. I don't know why she does this, but when she's sick, she coughs with her mouth in an "oo" shapes, which serves as a great cannon to shoot all the mucus in her nose, throat, and mouth in a concentrated stream across the room.
She also likes to cough directly in your face. I think she does it because she's looking at me and appealing for some sort of relief. I give her what medicine I can and try to make her comfortable. But no amount of hand-washing and vitamin C and Zinc will protect against that direct contact with her virus.
Why am I so concerned about germs? You'd think that as a veteran mother of 3, I'd be LESS worried. Kind of a "aah, it's no big deal" mentality. Au contraire. I have been infected about 20 times too many by the delightful children featured in my profile photo. Frankly, I would rather only tend one sick child, not three sick kids and myself! I'm a much nicer, more creative, fun-to-be-around person when I'm healthy! And with three kids to keep up with, I simply don't have time to be run down and on slow from a cold.
I also really want to stay healthy because my sister had her first baby yesterday! She lives about 2 hours away from me, so I can't go visit until Saturday. With Big Girl in kindergarten, I can't get there and back and still get her on and off the bus. And I can't go if I'm sick. If a newborn gets a cold, they end up in the hospital. I have been there, done that, and don't want to be responsible for sending a little one there! So I may not go, even if I'm still feeling ok, if more kids are sick by Saturday. I would hate to go and then feel sick the next day -- I would clearly have taken the germs with me the day before. So I'm praying, scrubbing my hands, taking vitamins, and doing my level-headed-best to stay out of the splatter zone. And not touch my face.
In other news, have I mentioned that Little Girl still isn't sleeping through the night? Big Boy was definitely doing it by this age. I guess I am reluctant to let her cry it out because she can wake up Big Girl and disrupt Big Boy's sleep. I would rather get up for 20 minutes to nurse her than deal with 2 cranky kids the next day. But it's getting old. She's like an alarm clock -- she gets me up at 4am like clockwork. Then it is so hard for me to get up when I need to in the morning. I don't have time for this -- I need to bounce out of bed, grab a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast before any of the kids get up! If I don't get something done before the kids wake up, I don't get it done that entire day.
Yes, that means I don't eat breakfast some days. Other days I don't shower. Other days I don't get dressed until midday. Such is the life of a sleepy mother of three. I swear I need a catapult to launch me out of bed!
Oct 24, 2005
My project pile
OK, I can't say that I wasn't warned. But since it didn't happen right away, I thought maybe I was immune. Not so. I have finally contracted the dread disease. I have a to-do list of projects to make for people a mile long. I even have an idea for something to make for myself.
What got me going? We spent a three-day weekend with my parents. Since we were there on a Friday, I went to a "sit-and-sew" with her. Seeing all the cool quilting projects everyone was working on got my creative juices flowing. One type of needlework seems to bleed into another. So now I'm working on a quilt for myself, in addition to the one already started and one sitting in my closet waiting to be done. Then I started thinking about Christmas. Suddenly my idea list ballooned. So here it is, in all its glory (well, some details are being hidden since recipients of Christmas gifts may read this blog).
Quilting:
Queen-sized quilt for guest bedroom we no longer have (but hope to recreate when we move to a bigger home someday)
T-shirt quilt
Christmas tree skirt
Mystery gift item
Crocheting:
Scarf for a friend's birthday (7 months late and counting...cuz scarfs are boring!)
Poncho
Knitting:
New York Yankees hat, to match completed baby booties for a friend's baby (must finish in the next 10 days because we're going to visit and I have to take it with me!)
Mittens for Big Girl
Mittens for me
2 or 3 mystery gift items
Sewing:
PJ pants for Sam (2 pairs)
mystery gift item
fleece poncho for Big Girl (large enough to cover her and the wheelchair so we don't have to tuck it under her straps)
Bibs for Big Girl
Keyboard curtain for church
Scrapbooks:
Big Girl
Big Boy
Little Girl
Beading:
Mystery gift item (or 2)
Am I nuts?
Probably.
I guess this explains why the paper is piling up in the house, along with the laundry and dishes. It's hard to get much done in a day with three small children at home too, so my progress is slow. I HAVE to make food, clean it up, and maintain a decent level of cleanliness in the house. And for some reason I find that I have to sleep now and then. Sleep is such a pesky thing. I'd get so much more done if I didn't have to sleep!
What got me going? We spent a three-day weekend with my parents. Since we were there on a Friday, I went to a "sit-and-sew" with her. Seeing all the cool quilting projects everyone was working on got my creative juices flowing. One type of needlework seems to bleed into another. So now I'm working on a quilt for myself, in addition to the one already started and one sitting in my closet waiting to be done. Then I started thinking about Christmas. Suddenly my idea list ballooned. So here it is, in all its glory (well, some details are being hidden since recipients of Christmas gifts may read this blog).
Quilting:
Queen-sized quilt for guest bedroom we no longer have (but hope to recreate when we move to a bigger home someday)
T-shirt quilt
Christmas tree skirt
Mystery gift item
Crocheting:
Scarf for a friend's birthday (7 months late and counting...cuz scarfs are boring!)
Poncho
Knitting:
New York Yankees hat, to match completed baby booties for a friend's baby (must finish in the next 10 days because we're going to visit and I have to take it with me!)
Mittens for Big Girl
Mittens for me
2 or 3 mystery gift items
Sewing:
PJ pants for Sam (2 pairs)
mystery gift item
fleece poncho for Big Girl (large enough to cover her and the wheelchair so we don't have to tuck it under her straps)
Bibs for Big Girl
Keyboard curtain for church
Scrapbooks:
Big Girl
Big Boy
Little Girl
Beading:
Mystery gift item (or 2)
Am I nuts?
Probably.
I guess this explains why the paper is piling up in the house, along with the laundry and dishes. It's hard to get much done in a day with three small children at home too, so my progress is slow. I HAVE to make food, clean it up, and maintain a decent level of cleanliness in the house. And for some reason I find that I have to sleep now and then. Sleep is such a pesky thing. I'd get so much more done if I didn't have to sleep!
Aug 6, 2005
Miscellaneaous Musings
This is a photo from the baby shower our church threw for us after Little Girl was born. My youngest sister Heather is on the left and my mom is on the right. By process of elimination, that would put me in the center holding Little Girl. I don't have many photos of myself, so I thought I'd include this here.
So I FINALLY got this blog to publish! I spent a lot of the day Thursday trying to get it to work. We figured it out this morning and now I'm so pumped -- we have three computers online at the same time! Can you tell we're techy nerds here? I can blog in bed now! :)
So I broke the news to Scott today that I have joined blogdom. He took the news well, though he DID ask me if my blog was called "Christian Feminist Dot Com." He was joking, of course. He also seemed interested in being a guest author some day, so that's cool. I'm hoping my parents and sisters will contribute as well.
In other miscellaney, I am coming down with a cold. Seems crazy to catch a cold in August, but here I sit with a scratchy throat and a tickle in my nose. I'm popping zinc every 12 hours and drinking lots of fluids. I guess it has been 4 1/2 months since I was last sick, but that was such an awful experience that I'm just dreading how this will turn out. I was 9 months pregnant with Little Girl and came down with a cold about February 14. March 18, when Little Girl was born, I was still sick. (In fact, being so physically worn down is a major reason I opted to get the epidural this time. I just didn't think I could get through the night without rest and the epidural allowed me to sleep for an hour before I hit the pushing stage.) I got a really bad sinus infection that took two rounds of antibiotics to rout out. I thought for sure I was ripping my obliques every time I coughed because it hurt so bad -- I had to bend over to keep the ripping sensation from overwhelming me. I had three nights where I couldn't sleep at all, and for about 2 or 3 weeks, I couldn't keep from verbalizing each breath I took. I would try SO hard to breathe quietly and I couldn't stop the moaning. It was awful. Scott said he has never seen me so sick in our entire relationship. So I'm really hoping that being 4 months post-partum will give my body the strength it needs to get through this virus without getting SO bad.
So I need to finish formatting this blog and then I can start actually writing. So don't worry -- this isn't going to be just random ramblings.
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