I tell my children all the time that Philippians 2:14-15 says,
"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."Unfortunately, I haven't exactly been a blameless innocent shining light myself. I've been a pretty poor example of this verse. In fact, I've realized that I've been living one long, drawn-out complaint for the past few weeks... or more. And I've been blogging about it too, broadcasting my anger and dissatisfaction for the world to see. I've been a fool, as Proverbs 29:11 says: "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."
A commenter this morning wrote in part, "Perhaps instead of addressing the grammar, social, and political issues out there, you might consider the unaddressed anger in your heart." He/she is right. I wish they had felt comfortable approaching me in person, in private, about this. Clearly some of their reluctance was caused by my pride and the way I come off. I'm not sure how to be less intimidating, but I'm going to work on it. God is working on my pride.
One of the big reasons I'm reconsidering all content on this blog is the issue of Biblical confrontation. My husband pointed out that "going digital" just doesn't feel right. No matter how accurate the accusation, the Bible tells us to confront each other in private, in person. I am certainly to blame here too -- my angry writing was an attempt to fix a problem I saw, but was definitely not done in a spirit of restoration or in the right venue.
I would like to humbly request each of us to consider how we are to confront someone we see doing wrong. A friend wrote the following in response to the first comment (both comments disappeared when I deleted the blog entry):
"The comment above is not spoken in love. If you're too worried about how she'll respond to you, your motive is not to see her honoring God, but for her to be nice to you. If it was the correct motive, it doesn't matter her response, it matters how YOU honor God by talking to her about it and praying for her. Joy may have faults, but if you see them, you should talk to her in private and I know God's work in her heart will bring it to light for her. A public blog is not the place to address someone's heart. You've just posted Joy's sins for the world to see rather than one-on-one confronting her. That is not the way God intends for us to learn from our sins."(Incidentally, she is one of the people I spoke with today who confirmed to me that I had some things to think about and correct.)
So, I've initiated some changes to the blog. No more venting online. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, actually. It's possible I may draw the curtains on this blog altogether. I know that I will be plenty busy updating our Carepage and our family website, and just keeping the family fed and clothed and clean when the baby is born, so blogging may fall by the wayside naturally. I'm still praying about it. I would appreciate your prayers for me as well: that God would give me wisdom and change my heart.
