I haven't posted in awhile because I suddenly realized how much I have to accomplish in the next 9 days. I have so many balls in the air right now and am starting to get that tight-chested panicky feeling. It hasn't been that great a week.
Part of the problem is that I have been taking a thyroid supplement since Little Girl was born, but I ran out of it last week. I have to drive about 30 minutes to pick up more, and I thought I'd just have my sister get it for me next time she was out that way (which was Monday). Unfortunately, they had to order it. I forgot to ask her to ask for it yesterday when she was there. I was kind of hoping that my thyroid function was back to normal. Apparently it isn't. I'm really hurting for energy right now. It didn't help that I also ran out of my prenatal vitamin (I still take it because it's a good multi-vitamin and I'm still breastfeeding) and kept forgetting to pick it up. Anyway, I'm exhausted. And of course I have more to do than normal. I am going to have to live on coffee and Diet Coke with Lime in order to get through this weekend.
I have three major projects that have to get done by Christmas. I'm making hooded towels for my three kids and for my niece for Christmas. I have them started, but need to finish them. I'm making myself a tree skirt for our Christmas tree. It would be nice to have it done before we take our tree down! I'm making another secret Christmas gift that has to be done by Christmas. I'm also knitting a gift for my other niece, but I have until New Year's to finish that one. Oh yeah, and we have a lot of gift wrapping to do. Oh yeah - one more major project that I really should be doing NOW because it's for Scott and this is the only chance I'll have to get it out without him seeing it.
I had a very scary moment today. I went to lunch with some women from church, which was very nice. I rarely get to eat out, and this time it was with some good friends. Everything was going great until Big Boy decided he was done eating and got down to play under the table with the other little girl sitting with us. He started visiting everyone we were with. The waitress came with my bill and told me I had to pay at the front. The front desk had a line a mile long, so I asked if I could just pay her with my credit card. We were taking care of that when I suddenly realized I had no idea where Big Boy was. I quickly scanned the tables and floor near us.
No Big Boy.
Other moms spread out and checked adjacent rooms. No Big Boy.
I remembered that I heard the door to the outside slam shut when I was dealing with the bill. I raced to the door and looked out.
No Big Boy.
This is a huge restaurant, so we had a lot of space to cover. I gave Little Girl to someone and started looking myself. I checked outside one more time.
No Big Boy.
Up until this point, I had been calm. Big Boy had never disappeared for long and I was sure he would turn up. But it had been 5 minutes and I had no idea where to look next. I felt this clenching in my gut as I pictured someone snatching him and taking him outside and away.
I went to the waitress and asked if there was any way to make an announcement. She was just speaking to the manager when a friend ran up and said she had found Big Boy. He was in the women's bathroom upstairs, sitting on the toilet. I think if he had been missing for much longer, in my current state of exhaustion, I would have sat down and cried. She said she couldn't decide whether to leave him there and tell me so I'd stop worrying or if she should stay with him so he wouldn't be alone. She finally came down to tell me because he was clearly there for the duration!
Perhaps panic would be a good way to describe my day. I had another moment of panic this morning. I suddenly realized, about 10 minutes before I had to be completely ready to go, that today was Career Day at school and Big Girl had to go dressed as what she wanted to be when she grew up. I have no idea what she wants to be, and I didn't have many options. I couldn't just NOT do it - I didn't want her to be left out of the whole thing. But I didn't have time to ask her, and I finally decided that she would just have to be a swimmer. Then I couldn't find her second swim suit (she was going swimming this morning before school, so I needed a dry suit for her to wear). Then I had to program her Dynavox so she could share about being a swimmer in school. I ransacked the house looking for her swim bag, her swim suit, pants, and Little Girl's hat and jacket. At one point I was choking back tears while programming because I was so frustrated and feeling like such a failure and Big Boy came up to me and asked, "Mommy? What's wrong?" I told him I couldn't find something I was looking for. He said, "It's ok, mommy. I love you," and gave me a hug. Then I REALLY had to bite back tears.
Ok, I better drag out my project for Scott. Maybe I should brew some coffee too. I got about a 5-minute nap today because Big Boy kept yelling at Little Girl to be quiet during the 20-minute window of time I had to catch a nap before Big Girl got home from school. He and Little Girl slept in the car, which totally shot the usual 2 1/2 hours I have to sleep and get stuff done. At least we can put them to bed early tonight. Maybe I should go to bed early too!
