We jam-packed this spring break, starting last Friday. We went to my in-laws Friday night, eating dinner on the road. I didn't sleep well Friday or Saturday nights, but not for any particular reason. It was my usual second-half of pregnancy "I'm sleepy when I'm up but wide awake when I crawl into bed" thing.
<-- This photo was totally Sam's idea. Notice Anna trying to get into the act.Scott was busy all weekend helping his dad with projects, which is not our usual pattern for weekends. I really missed having that time with him and was very ready for the long drive home Sunday night so we could talk.
While we were visiting my in-laws, we realized that both Scott's sister and I were free this week. So I invited her to come visit. I thought it would allow us to do more to have another adult with me this week the kids were out of school. She agreed to come Monday morning and meet us at the zoo.
I parked at one entrance. My sister-in-law got directed to another entrance. Have I ever mentioned how hilly our zoo is? Have you ever tried to push a double stroller and a wheelchair up a hill?
The double stroller contained a 30-lb toddler and everyone's lunch and requires two hands to steer. The wheelchair alone weighs at least 40 lbs, plus it had a 20-lb Dynavox and support bar, and a 30-lb girl in it. My 4 1/2 year old was trying as hard as he could to push the far handle of the stroller but simply can't stear and push at the same time. He kept veering one way or the other.Then we had to go down the other side of the hill. This side is about 3 times longer. I immediately realized that going downhill is much more scary when you've barely got control of two multi-wheeled vehicles carrying your precious children. But I pridefully and foolishly turned down two offers of help. Instead, I plopped the youngest on the ground and made her walk. Then I abandoned control of the stroller to Sam. He did much better on his own. And I resolved never to attempt both the stroller and the wheelchair alone. Ever. Even for a short walk from one entrance to another.
The zoo trip actually went pretty well once we joined the girls.<-- Elli loved her ride on the train.
We saw the gibbons swing around their enclosure just like Curious George, and Sam found a camo hat to match his camo shorts. All told, we spent about 4 hours there. Then the kids rode bikes with the neighbors for about an hour after dinner and totally wore themselves out.
Tuesday, we went to the aquarium. The kids began to show signs of meltdown. This should have been a warning to us. We ate lunch at Johnny Rockets, hoping that full tummies would tame the wild beasts.<-- All of the kids enjoyed looking at the fish. Anna is actually standing on her tip-toes on a little ledge less than an inch wide, just so she can see the fish.
<-- Anna was fearless at the "pet the sharks" pool.Instead of going straight home for naps, we went to a park. We knew the beautiful weather would end that night, and we wanted to bask in every second of sunshine.
By the time we reached the park, Sam had had enough. The strain of having another 4-year-old after his stuff for 4 days straight was too much. He found some boys to play with and they absolutely refused to let his cousin in on the game. He ran himself into the ground, and she wailed and carried on almost the entire time we were there. They were only slightly better when they woke up from naps after we got home.
That night, I headed to our room right after the kids went to bed. I did some research on amniocentesis and chromosome abnormalities associated with heart defects. I couldn't find anything directly related to our baby's diagnosis, but I ran into a very discouraging article from the National Institutes of Health (reader beware). It was the first time I'd read that kids with Tetralogy of Fallot have feeding problems, difficulty gaining weight, and developmental delays. Between that and the chromosome stuff, I had a difficult time getting to sleep that night.
<-- I think I can see bags under their eyes!Wednesday our spring weather disappeared in a thunderstorm. We colored eggs and tried to take it easy. But the kids were so cranky from all that togetherness that they were relentlessly at each other's throats.
We moms gravely underestimated how draining conflict-resolution with absolutely unreasonable children is. Mediating the same argument you've addressed 36 prior times that same day takes everything you have. Mostly because you also have to fight the urge to throw something... or someone... through the window.
By Wednesday night, I was done. Scott returned from setting up for a dinner at church and I told him, "If I could quit this job, I would tonight."
And then I proceeded to cry myself to sleep, utterly mystifying my husband (except that he has been through pregnancies with me three times before -- shouldn't be that big a mystery!).
Thursday -- fortunately -- was my day off. I went to work at the hospital for the afternoon, praying that no-one would notice how puffy my eyes still felt. I had no meetings, so we got a lot done. We got take-out from a yummy Indian restaurant for lunch. I didn't have to cut anyone's food up or fend the vultures off my own meal. I didn't have to mediate any fights or figure out how to entertain kids who were used to playing outside but now couldn't because of the horrid weather.
I would have probably been fine that evening, but I had to go straight from work to church. They have what they call an Agape` Dinner the Thursday before Easter. I had guess-timated that it would last 1 1/2 hours. It turned out to be 2 1/2 hours, and by the time we got home, I was fried yet again.
Sometime in the night, Anna woke up -- she's been fighting a cold all week. I was so groggy that I couldn't stay awake long enough for the heat to stop blowing so I could tell if that really was a child crying or not. Next thing I knew, it was 4:45am and someone was slamming a door. Over. And over. Anna had turned on the bedroom light and for reasons I may never figure out, was opening and closing her door again and again. She burst into tears when I appeared. I got her settled back into bed, and moved Elli, who was hopelessly awake for the day, to the living room. I tried to get back to sleep myself, but never really did.
I've noticed a definite correlation between the degree to which I'm ragged out and the degree to which I tend to look at life negatively. This week I've been as ragged out as I can be, and I'm grumpy, impatient, and depressed. I keep telling myself that my mental condition is being dramatically affected by my physical one.
I think I might finally be on the road to recovery. Today has been the first semi-restful day in over a week. Scott had the day off, and all I had to do was take Elli to a doctor's appointment. Since I got to leave the other kids home, this went really well. I actually got an afternoon nap. And we're having a quiet evening at home.
Here's hoping everyone actually sleeps tonight. Including me.
