You are a sweet, beautiful, smart girl and I want you to know that I love you very much. Your smiles and your creativity brighten my day.
However, I am afraid I need to draw some boundaries in our relationship. You've crossed the line from affection to smothering. In fact, if you were a boyfriend, I would have dumped you long ago.
You may not understand exactly what behaviors are coming across so smothering, so in the interest of constructive criticism, allow me to describe a few of them.
You burst into tears when I pass by you or avoid you while trying to pack everyone up to leave the house, prepare a meal, or help one of your siblings. You then proceed to bawl your eyes out while crawling after me and trying to latch yourself onto my legs. The tears and snot streaming down your face leave a wet, slippery trail to mark the passage of your poor, pitiful self.
You frequently beg to be held, but then are discontent to simply snuggle. You squirm and struggle and cast about for something to amuse you, but cry bitter tears if I put you down again.
If you are eating in your high chair and I happen to pass from view, you weep and wail as if I had passed on into eternity.
And the last straw? The night you woke up at 3:15am dead-set on having me hold you in the rocking chair for the rest of the night. After two hours of trying to figure out what was wrong with you, we finally gave up and put you back in bed. You proceeded to rage and scream and wail for 45 minutes. FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES. I haven't had such a difficult night since Elli was a baby. She had an excuse then. You did not.
This simply cannot continue. Like I said, I've ended relationships with boys for less than this! If you wish to maintain a positive relationship with me, you must make some good-faith efforts to change your ways.
Please understand that I'm the mother of two other children who also need my love, attention, help, and various household services such as meal preparation, clothes-laundering, and transportation. I love each one of you, but sometimes my attention is needed by others and you have to learn to accept that and wait patiently for your turn. It really is in your best interests to do so, otherwise you will be hungry, naked, and dirty very quickly, plus your siblings, who should be your best friends and allies, will disown you.
I, in return, will make every effort to shower you with love and affection and carve out cuddle time each day.
Do we have a deal? Or am I simply going to have to grit my teeth and endure the blotchy, teary, snot-lubricated face of my youngest daughter for the next however many months until you mature to the point where you can stand for me to be separate from you?
I am?
Pass the Ambien. I'm hibernating until the fall.
