His family did not hold to this fortress, us-against-them mentality, so he and his siblings played with all the kids in the neighborhood, invited friends to church, and developed deep and lasting friendships. He described the reaction of the church kids to the friends he and his siblings brought to church -- fear and animosity manifested as mockery. In fact, one boy who came to church with dyed-blond hair and an earring was openly mocked by the other kids so that he never returned and never expressed any interest in spiritual things again.
I agree with him that this is a huge problem. I remember encountering similar attitudes among home-schooling families when I was growing up. I was home-schooled from third grade through high-school. The home-schooling families I knew had pulled their kids out of school for a variety of reasons, but one common theme was the desire to separate from the influences of the world.
In theory, I think this is a reasonable concern, especially because children are very impressionable. However, in practice, I saw it play out in the parents as an "I am a rock, I am an island" and "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" attitude towards the world. You cannot love people you refuse to associate with. And this unbiblical attitude fosters many undesirable fruits in the kids. I saw some develop an unhealthy attitude towards the "outside world" -- whether it manifesting itself as fear or as animosity. And many, myself included, struggled against an inordinate fascination with the forbidden. As Tim observed,
"... the children developed a fascination with the world simply because any access to the outside world had been denied to them and they had never seen the pain and heartbreak that are the inevitable result of forsaking God. The world looks awfully attractive until a person sees the results of giving himself over to it."I'm not knocking home-schooling as a good educational choice. The kids I graduated with received a high-quality education, and some of them did look upon unbelievers with love, concern, and a "But for the grace of God, go I" perspective. But it is not the only good choice, and it certainly is not the only right choice. (For some thought-provoking reading on this, check out "Does the Bible Mandate Home School?" and "Home, Private, or Public School?" by the staff of Pulpit Magazine, a publication of Shepherd's Fellowship and staffed by many from Grace Community Church in California.)
I am criticizing the desire to completely separate from the world. This demonstrates a lack of love for the unsaved. You cannot interact with unbelievers in a bunny suit, sterile gloves, and oxygen tank! You have to develop friendships, live out Christ's love for the unclean and the immoral, pray that God would open their eyes and soften their hearts, and as you discover the cracks and chasms in their worldview, lovingly share Scripture.
Christ got down and dirty with the people of Israel during his ministry here. He himself said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." And He is our example. Whatever means you choose to educate your children, and no matter how many services you attend at church, you cannot avoid the command to get out there into the world, get to know people where they are, and share the hope that we have and the answers to the tough questions everyone asks. I have found that people today are pretty numb to words without context. They want to see us actually live what we believe. God's transforming work in our lives validates our message, but they cannot see that work in us if we don't get to know them.
So if the only people you know are exactly like you, I challenge you to consider what you can do to expand your world a bit. Take a class, join a club, volunteer somewhere, sign the kids up for a community sports team and help carpool the team to events.
One of the joys of my little part-time job has been the great friends I've made there. None of them are believers (though some think they are). I'm also meeting parents of my daughters' classmates and slowly developing friendships with them.
I've learned (and am still learning) over the years to tread lightly, and not automatically expect that people listen to me or agree with me. I make a conscious effort to listen to them, ask thoughtful and unassuming questions, try to understand their perspective, and take a genuine interest in their lives. They know that I follow Christ, serve in my local church, honor and love my husband, and work hard to rear my children according to our values. I have learned a lot from them, and I've had a tremendous opportunity to live my beliefs out before them during health crises and during difficult situations at work. I pray daily for wisdom, godly words, a gentle and quiet spirit, and boldness to speak when the time is right. Even when the days are tough, I remind myself that God has me there for a reason and pray that He would use me somehow, despite my flaws and failings.
