Motherhood, and all of life too I guess, is about making choices. For every choice you make, 20 other things go unchosen. Right now, I'm really feeling the burn of this reality.
We're attempting to leave for an extended holiday weekend today. I had some fantastic dreams about leaving at 3 or 4pm, eating dinner on the road, and getting in well before the kids' bedtimes so they could play and unwind at our destination: Gramma and Grampa's house.
The reality is that my husband is tied up at work with projects out the wazzoo and drop-in, last-minute, "I didn't plan this too well and now you're gonna pay for my mistakes" work. But I'm not bitter.
I'm trying not to be, anyway. But right now I have to confess I have a pretty bad attitude about the whole thing. My mind is racing a hundred miles an hour, while my body works like mad to get all the clothes washed so I can finish packing (with five people, I always have at least two loads on any given day, no matter how much laundry I did the day before). I also need to wash all the dishes, clean the cat box, set out fresh food and water, entertain the kids while they nag me every two minutes about when we're going to leave, pack the van, set up the DVD player, and remember the five billion things we have to take as parents of three children, one with special needs.
So, I'm confronted with so many conflicting choices. If I choose one thing, so many others aren't being done. And I have to do it all by myself since Scott is stuck at work. When he's here to help me, it's easier to make these choices because something else is being done by someone else at the same time I'm working on my chosen task.
Do I fold the clean clothes and pack suitcases? But I still need to wash another load of dishes. And I have to get the Powerpoints ready for Sunday (even though we won't be there) so we can drop all the stuff off at church on our way out. Or should I pay bills? Or should I water the garden and pick the ripe stuff to bring with us? Or should I start dinner? And what should I make? Something portable in case Scott actually gets home at a decent dinner hour? Or something else since I'll be feeding the kids before we leave and eating with Scott on the van? Or do I start pulling stuff together and running it out to the van now -- like the medicines, feeding supplies, toys, and activities we have to take? Oh yeah -- I need to wrap the birthday gifts too.
And now we're having technical difficulties. Two kids are up now and need something to keep them occupied while I race around the house like a crazy monkey. Dratted new DVD player won't play. Stuck with VHS tapes. Thank goodness we have one that will keep them happy.
Got a call -- Scott hopes to head home at 5! And he voted for drive-thru dinner. That takes two loads off. Now on to the rest of it. Where was I?
