I belong to a group for parents of special needs children in our school district. Today another member emailed us a movie review for the newly released "Martian Child." I intend to go see this movie at my first opportunity -- which truthfully may not happen til it comes out on video! But I wanted to share this with you as it speaks to one of the toughest questions I get asked as the mom of a special little girl. If you get to see this movie before I do, let me know what you thought!
By Dan H. Kent
(You can find the original posting of this movie review here.)
There are comments that people make to parents of special needs children like, "I don't know how you do it," or, "We feel for you." These are well-meaning, caring remarks. And they are appreciated. With the limitations of language, how else would someone express their compassion? Alongside a statement like this, there sometimes seems to be an unspoken, yet innocent, question. It is: "How can you love that child?"
I don't mean to be cruel to say this, or to imply that people are heartless or lack feeling. The opposite is true. But as the father of an autistic child, I believe that sometimes, just sometimes, there is a lack of experience that is difficult to overcome. A gulf exists that can make it difficult for the parent of a "normal" child or for anyone else, to understand the love of a special-needs child. And given all of the effort and frustration that comes with the raising of a special-needs child, the special-needs parent might, if the question were actually put to him or her, find the question difficult to answer, except to say, "How can I not?"
In the movie, Martian Child, David (John Cusack), a young widower still mourning the loss of his wife, considers adopting Dennis (Bobby Coleman), a child who lacks social skills and apparently believes he is from Mars. When David first encounters Dennis, the child is in a large cardboard box, observing the playground through a hole in its side. This is an apt, if obvious, metaphor, as children with emotional needs are truly separate and apart, don't know how to interact (though they often want to), and observe their peers as though from a distance. Dennis is a damaged child, suffering from the knowledge that he was abandoned by his true parents.
Near the beginning of the movie, David's sister Liz (Joan Cusack) expresses her concern that the child will be too much for him to handle and will ruin his life. Beyond Liz's concern is her utter incomprehension as to why he would even want to try. As the movie progresses and David is dealing with Dennis's problems during the trial period of the adoption, she even suggests that he should return the child to the agency. Although she is a parent herself, she does not understand David's love.
David persists, however, and with the help of his close friend Harlee (Amanda Peet), a true father - son relationship develops, and Dennis benefits from his new father. True to life, Dennis is not portrayed as being "completely cured", but he improves somewhat, and the viewer knows that he will to continue grow.
This movie answers the unspoken question. It does so, not with words, but scene by scene, through the interactions of the emerging relationship. The viewer comes to understand the emotional relationship of the two.
John Cusack is completely authentic in his role. He is tormented, concerned, caring, anguished, and enriched. In short, his is an authentic portrayal of the father of a special-needs child. Bobby Coleman aptly plays the role of Dennis, and is convincingly emotionally disturbed. The twist, his belief that he is from Mars, is adequately explained. Despite the insertion of a few inexplicable scenes, such as the child's ability to "taste color", and a dramatic, but excusable, Hollywood conclusion, the screenplay by Seth E. Bass and Jonathan Tolins, and the movie, directed by Menno Meyjas, is a worthy journey of emotion for those willing to experience it.
(My sincerest thanks to Dan Kent for writing this review.)
